My Side of the Story

I am sitting beside you, do you not feel my presence? I am praying with you, do you not hear my tears hit the floor as I weep beside you? I laugh with you, I speak to you, and yet you think I’m just your conscious. I strive to keep you safe, can you not hear Me telling you that you shouldn’t do the very thing you are laboring so hard to do. I am with you during your car rides, meetings, grocery lines, classes, family discussions, alone time, and even when you are sleeping. I look out for your past, present, and future… do you not see me in it? I created this beautiful place called earth for you.

I have something for you. I hold it in my hand with care, like holding on to a new born babe, it’s the plan that I have for you. With great joy I raced to show you at the beginning stages of your life, so that you can get started right away and miss nothing. But you turn Me away with mutterings that you do not need Me, you can accomplish every thing you ever wanted without me… on your own. So I wait, I wait as a farmer would wait for rain. Some of you come straight forth, claiming your calling and who you are in God. Some of you I have to replant, some need more water, others need more shelter from the storm because they are fragile and need protecting. Some need more soil, or ground covering friends to help them. Some bring forth shade, others fruit, and some beauty. Many will do none of theses things. They shall bring forth thorns and thistles. They shall be a hindrance to there fellows, they will tell them “you can be anything, who needs God!” “He is not there anyway.” “Where is your God now?” “You will never be perfect, why try?” “Who do you think you are?”. They shall try to choke their brethren with their vines, hurt them with their thorns, and steal all their nutrients. They hated Me before you though. Ripped from the earth shall they be, as well as cut down at the root. They will get their just reward, focus on Me.

The point of the matter, or the reason for the story, is do you even want Me? Do you seek Me? I never left you, even though you accuse Me of such a treachery. I am here with you now and always.

Hallelujah, Amen,

Content or Happy

In this post I wish to discuss with you the difference between contentment and happiness. I have had the pleasure and disappointments of experience both and I am curious as to who else here knows the difference.

In my earlier years I always questioned how to get to happiness, and what I would have to sacrifice to be content. Well, question no more…

Happiness – A state in which your heart, mind, body, and soul have all agreed that this is what you want and need in life. A state in which you think about the thing that gives you this sense of joy, belonging, and want; wishing to continue on with life wearing a smile on your face.

Contentment – Accepting your lot in life, believing that you are where you need to be to get where you need to go. But do not necessarily enjoy that reality.

For example, I was content with the position I worked, but am now happy with the position I currently hold at my job. I was content to learn the lessons I needed to learn to be able to move on with what God’s purpose was with my life. I now work a job that I never thought I would experience happiness in, with the greatest coworkers I have ever worked with. This is due to collaboration. I will try to expound on that at a later date though.

I want you to reflect on your life and see where you are. You may be in the contentment stage of life, and that is okay. Sometimes we have to fight the devil hard to get what God has in store for us. Have faith dear one, you are closer than you think. Anything is possible with the help of the Father, Amen.

Sincerely,

*This Girl*

Waiting For God

So many of us dwell on instant gratification. We push a button and get exactly what we want, we say we want it so we get it even if we do not have the funds. 

Not many of us have patience anymore. We do not have to wait for really anything in this day and age. We have self checkouts, drive throughs, we have credit cards instead of saving accounts, text messages instead of hand written letters. Why go in a store when you can order it online and have it ready to pick up in store? 

Everything is about convenience. People talk about cost but what kind of cost are we talking about? The cost of money, or the cost of the soul? I was told that time is the most expensive thing you can give because you cannot get it back. People treat it like it is so important without putting any importance into it. It doesn’t make any sense to me. 

They will save time in the grocery store by buying it all online and picking it up at the side door but what do you do with the time you saved? Watch a tv show perhaps. 

When we send a text instead of calling or visiting that person, what does it cost us?  Well, it cost you listening to their voice, building a stronger relationship, enjoying their company, seeing them smile or laugh, hearing how they feel instead of trying to interpret how someone feels based off of how they text. 

What is patience? It is having the stamina and fortitude to wait for what you want. It is being dedicated to a decision or an action to the point that you are willing to wait. I will give you an example. 

I quite working at DQ towards the end of the yr 2017 and worked for an assisted living home. (This was right after my first EMT class.) I worked there for 8 months and I remember God telling me my time was up and that it was time to leave. I was able to get a part time job at Michaels right after I left the home. Michaels did not give me enough hrs to pay the bills, so I told God that it was all in his hands. When the school season kicked in I was a substitute for special education assistants while continuing to work for Michaels. About two or three months of doing this one of the schools that I subbed for had a job opening as well as another school wanting me because of a girl that had recently enrolled was handicapped in a wheel chair; which was something I dealt with often at the assisted living home. I could not decide which school to work for. I was torn up over this; I spent 2-3 weeks working with the wheel chair girl just to see if I would like the job before I got hired on. I remember praying and telling God that he had to make the choice. Not too long after, the lady that had me working with the little girl said. “I do not know how to tell you this, but someone within the system applied for the position and they get top priority. So I cannot give you the job. “ I smiled thinking” thank you Father. I said to her, “That is all right; I could not decide which school to work for anyway. God just made up my mind for me. ” I applied for the other school receiving that job rather quickly. 

You see all of this took awhile to take place. What if I did not wait on God to give me a job, but went to find a job somewhere else? What if I did not like Gods decision and went another route? 

God tells us to not worry about anything, not even what we will eat tomorrow. Why do we live in constant concern for the future? Why do we take matters into our own hands? God even told Moses to be still before parting the waters. God has taken care of my every need my whole life because I was patient and waited on him. We should be doing that for everything. 

All of these people in the world rushing to get somewhere off unimportance to do something that holds no value. Is this not even a little disappointing? How can we live with that truth?

Self Examine your life, Do you know that you are where God wants you to be; doing what he wants you to do? I refuse to get in heaven and God look at me shaking his head saying, “This is what you did, and this is what I had planned for you.” I would be distraught. Because I would feel as though I had failed. My heart breaks imagining not doing what he has planned for me. 

The adventure God has planned for each one of us is going to be different. Maybe you will cross paths with someone who has a similar walk and you end up being soul mates. If we are patient and wait for the hand of God to work on our lives, then everything will work out for the better. Even if you do not see it, it will always work for the better. 

I hope y’all have a wonderfully blessed day, Amen. 

*This Girl* 

Friend

Friend, what do I see when I say that?

Well, when I close my eyes I see colors, colors representing happiness, through those vibrant colors I hear laughter, a laughter that makes me smile deep down inside. I see eyes that hide nothing with a smile of sincerity. A person being who they are with no regrets or fear of being judged. I see someone who feels comfortable in the environment they reside in. An aura of confidence with and air of relaxation about them. I see someone I would die for, I trust my life to them. I see someone who has walked from hell and back with me, who loves me on my best days and on my worst days. Someone I can relate to, a person who will grow with me and not hold me down. A person who, if we are different doesn’t try to change me. A person who will stand for me when I cannot even stand for myself, one who would meet me where I am with just a phone call. I see a relationship that each person gives each other there all, not a 50/50 relationship but a 100/100 relationship.  A friendship where not only do we laugh together but cry together as well. A relationship of mutual respect and understanding. 

Where do we get this kind of relationship you ask?

Well, here is the hardest part that we all have to understand and come to an agreement on… it takes both people giving themselves up for each other to see. No lies, no secrets, no talking behind each other’s backs, no bad communication. All of those are hard things to do, even if you both agree to do everything I have talked about, there is something you need to understand. 

Most people do not make it because it takes time, effort, perseverance, work, and a lot of apologizing. A lot of forgiving. People talk about how great it would be to have a friend, but not very many people are willing to put in the time and effort to make it happen. 

This is why my closest friends are my sisters and my immediate family. We are all still working on understanding each other and sympathizing with how we all feel towards different things. 

All of us have our weird quirks. You cannot even be a possible friend for me if you cannot love me for the exact way that I am. No matter how crazy I get.  

Yes, I have incredible caffeine rushes and I swear I am the funniest person alive after I have had coffee. Yes, I snort when I laugh so hard I cannot breath. Yes, the only thing I can do quietly is walk, and read; I cannot sneeze, hiccup, blow my nose or talk quietly, you can hear me do it all. 

But I would step in harms way if it meant saving anyone that mattered to me. I will be there when you needed me the most, help you even when you do not ask. I would laugh with you at your funniest moments, and cry with you at your saddest moments. I will give you the confidence you need. I will help you do what you need to do but I will not do it for you. I will dare you to be your greatest and help you achieve your goals. I will do my best to be someone you can trust. I will be honest even if it hurts. 

My mother once told me, “there are too many leaders, and not enough servants”. 

She was so right. There should only be one leader. Jesus should be our only leader. We should follow him. If we followed him (even our friends) we would all naturally become one. Our friendships would be bonds stronger than brotherhood. At that point any relationship would have more merit and meaning, including relationships with the opposite sex. 

If you think you do not have a friend remember this. Jesus is our closest and best friend. He is our bridegroom, protector and our salvation. So for those of you who feel lonely, maybe there is a reason. Maybe we should get to know our friend more by putting “work” and “time” into the relationship. 

I hope this touched someone’s heart. May you all have a blessed night, Amen. 

Sincerely,

This Girl

A Story

I am going to tell you a story about a person. I will describe this person to you as little as possible. I want you to see not what I want you to see. But what God wants you to see. May the Father show you what you need to see.

~*~

The wind swirled around someone. Standing on the road they have been walking. Their fear disappeared. The fire in the eyes of this person was straight determination and Courage. Tears ran down this persons face. Anguish for what has to be done.

As you look behind this person. Down towards the bottom of the hill they stand on. You will see their past. All of those “great things” that where done; burning with fire and brimstone. You can hear screaming, and see shadows of monsters running around in the night taking what they could. Their teeth gnashing as their claws tear up the ground.

Scars covered the persons body; some where fresh, others old. Behind this person on their right side. Not to far back (still on the top of the mountain) lay a grave. On this grave was the inscription that read your name. Below that was written “Thy old self”.

Your eyes diverted to an object not that far away; stood a cross. As you stood and beheld this image you heard words in the wind. Calling, saying, “Come, and I shall give thee rest,” “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son. That whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life”, and “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour.” 1 Peter 5:8. All of those words carried in the wind, echoing around you.

Your heart was heavy as you looked around. The monsters stood around snarling, laughing at you. You looked down at your dads praying. You looked at your torn and battered hands. They held the book that you had been holding onto this long. As you looked at the book praying. These words came to mind.

“Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.” Galations 5:1

As you transferred the book into your right hand it turned into a double edged sword. The murmurs and chanting of the demons changed as they backed up a couple feet.

You looked before you and saw the Y in the road. Your body filled with faith and belief in the Father God. The Spirit swelled inside of you giving you courage. As you waited for the path you should take to be shown to you strong hands rested on your shoulders. When you looked up your heart was filled with contentment and happiness as you realized that the person behind you was your guardian angel.

” The path will be long and you have much to learn. The armor must be claimed and the battle must be fought,” said the angel. But with God, nothing is impossible.

May this story give you confidence and strength to do what you know you have to do; Hallelujah, Amen!

This Girl

The Right One

A lot of people talk about finding the “right one” for them. I no longer see the fascination. Husbands and wives are forever soul mates, not a couple year get together. Love and lust are not the same.

What are we teaching our children? Everything in this world seems to degrade the opposite sex. We judge the men on what they do and do not do. Then we judge the women off of their body and clothes.

We all say, “No you are not my type” or assume that someone who wants to be friends has a crush on you when they have not indicated it in any fashion. Why can we not be friends instead of letting our childish heart driven attraction get in the way of it?

Some of us make a list of attributes we would like to see in our partner. That is not a problem, please make that list and stick to it. But please do not flaunt it. People do not like to think that you are people shopping.

Do I have a list? Yes, I do. I typically keep it to myself. But for this conversation it seems that I will have to make an exception.

I am going to share a few of the things that are on my list with you so that you have an example. I think girls and guys should always know what they want in a life long partner. Even if the people they meet in life do not “Make the cut”. You can still be friends if you want. Unless it is a toxic relationship. Then you might want to consider different options.

Things I would like to see in my forever partner.

  1. Devotion ( To God, what they do, family, me, etc.)
  2. Faith (In anything that matters.)
  3. Patience (We all need some version of this)
  4. Integrity ( I will provide a definition)
  5. Confidence (Not that cocky arrogant kind either)
  6. Charity ( A Godly love for everyone no matter the person)
  7. Consistency ( The capability of being the same no matter the situation)

I am not normally for Wikipedia but their definition of integrity is definitely something to be thought about.

“Integrity is the practice of being honest and showing a consistent and uncompromising adherence to strong moral and ethical principles and values. In ethics , integrity is regarded as the honesty and truthfulness or accuracy of ones actions.

Okay, now that you have an example. Think about what you want to see. Pray about it. Do not be shy to ask for what you want. God will give you what you need.

Make your own list. Everyones will be different. The right partner for me, will not be the right one for you. And that is okay. God made us all different for a reason.

Once you have decided what you want to live with for the rest of your life. Stick to it. You wanna know why I am single? Most of it is that I will settle for no less than what my Father has prepared for me. I will wait patiently for it. Even if it never comes. I will have faith in my Father and stand by my beliefs even if it leaves me single. I will still carry out the path my Father has set before me.

May all of Gods children stay strong and wait on him to provide. We shall know when the right one comes. Have faith and take care. Until your partner comes, learn more about yourself. Fulfill the path the Father has set before you. He will bring your partner to you when you are not even looking.

May you all have a blessed day.

Sincerely,

This Girl

I can’t grow up

A lot of us wished to never grow up. There are also a lot of people who wanted to grow up and now wish they could go back.

I have always had the luxury of being me. I have also been allowed to be a child for as long as possible. I had a great childhood. We played Cowboys and Indians with my cousins, climbed trees, played in the mud, parents helped us with anything. I did not have a care in the world.

I am 21 now. I had to grow up somewhere in there right? No! I did not have to grow up. I accepted responsibility like I should. I help my parents, do stuff for them because I love and respect them like God asked of us. I accepted the confidence God gave me to do what I have to do. God gave me a job so I could pay my bills and do what I need to do.

I still play in the mud, climb trees, take silly face photo’s. I still hang out with my parents and 13 yr old lil bro. I still dance in the kitchen when we make dinner. I still smile.

People take adulting and turn it in to this horrible thing. Like a nightmare at night to scare our kids. We should be allowed to mature at our own pace. I am still learning to this day.

I look very young. Some of it is my genes, the rest is probably because I have never worn makeup. Because of this I have had people not take me seriously. This made me question my capability. God gave me confidence. I use to say I never wanted to get older than 12. Guess how old people think I am when they meet me for the first time. If you guessed 12 you are right. I get accused of being a middle schooler. Guess I got what I asked for.

Please do not grow up. Learn to love, respect, and believe in yourself. We are children of the most high God. I should never have questioned my capability. Do not make the same mistake.

And parents, children mature and grow all at different rates. Do not give up. We all still need y’all.

If you enjoy what you are reading please like and subscribe. I would like to see you again. Have a blessed day.

This Girl

It’s all lies…

I was sitting around one day. Thinking about this world and what I see on a normal day. Then I thought about the average girl.

This is what the current world has defined a girl. Well kept/styled hair, makeup, cute outfits, maybe a pair of heels, a little purse. For over exaggerations sake they could have a lil chihuahua in that purse.

It’s pathetic. But forget how the world sees us. Just for a moment. I want to talk about, how we see ourselves. For some of us this is hard. But I want you to think and be honest with yourselves.

We wake up in the morning. Some of us get dressed right away, the rest of ya head straight for the coffee or the bathroom. Whichever call is the loudest at the moment. But almost all of us will agree to one thing. At some point we go to do what my grandmother calls, “putting my face on.” Now whether you do makeup to hide the wrinkles, the scars, to look older, or to look what we define as more pretty. It doesn’t matter what your hiding. But why we do it.

Why do we do makeup? Vanity…I don’t know just a guess. To hide what God has created? At what point in our lives did we look at ourselves and go “God made a mistake, I will make it better!” That is what our actions say as we put it on. God said he created us in his image. So why change it?

Let’s change the perspective for a moment. When we have makeup on, we look totally different. Than when we did without it on. You have created two different persons? No, rather you are lying to yourself and to the world about your true self and natural God given beauty. Why hide such a glorious thing?

If you wear it to look older listen to this. I work for the school district. I follow the kids that misbehave consistently in school and make sure that they do not impede on someone else’s learning. I was with my 6th grader having a bad hair day. So while he was doing his work I proceeded to attempt to fix this said bad hair day. The substitute came over to me. Nice looking lady with long brunette hair. (I have incredibly long blonde hair). She said to me “I completely understand this problem, ( as she gestured towards my hair) but I really think we should get started on the assignment at hand (as she tapped the computer). Now mind you. I am a 21 yr old woman. I have never worn makeup in my life. She just insinuated that I was a 6th grade girl. 6th graders are around the age of 12. This is a regular occurrence for me. I had an adult in the gym loudly say “am I the only adult in here!” As I stood next to the door. There is nothing wrong with looking half your age. What does it matter if the boys do not notice you? Maybe your better off ruling your own world. What does it matter if people do not take you seriously? They are missing out on what God has planned for them. You should walk the path the Father has created for you with confidence in stride. The rest will fall in place.

Women of God when did we come to a place where we all agreed it was okay to paint ourselves the way jezebel did? Do we not see what God did to her? Rise women of virtue. Women of God. Stand strong by the Father and praise him for the work of his hands. Thank him for everything. For he is the one who has had mercy on us for this long. May he continue to watch over us and keep us safe. Hallelujah, Amen.

This Girl

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