I’ve Wondered

You know, I have found myself thinking often how I wish people had grown up the way I was allowed too. God has been kind to me and I was raised with kindness, love and family. I was given every opportunity to learn what I wanted and given every chance to believe in what I wanted too. What would happen if we all saw things the way God wanted us to see them? I apologize for not writing for awhile but things have been all over the place lately.

There has been chaos in many ways for us all. Makes us wonder what life would be like if we would actually let God show us how things were meant to be. Funny how we are made in God’s image and yet we still have to choose Him to lead us. God truly does give us free choice. It breaks my heart to see the many people who either think they are too far gone or just refuse to sacrifice. You are never too far gone, God forgave the man that was hung next to him and his sins were said to be great (Luke 23:39-43). God called Paul to him and Paul had been killing his to be fellow christians (Acts 9:1-4). If God will forgive these people, then you my friend are never too far gone.

What I wish the most, is that people would experience the Love of Christ and then carry it with them through out their life. I am not perfect my friends, God has shown me what it looks like when his love moves like a fierce tide over a person in a short period of time. It is a beautiful thing my friend. I hope you can see if one day, I hope that y’all experience it in its full glory.

I find myself trying to battle with things often, should I go right or left, do that or not do it, be friends with that person or not. I am sure I am not the only one here who is experiencing this. It hurts doesn’t it? The pain of the unknown, God told us not to worry and yet here we are together. Looking down futures path and pre-determining how it will go. Leaving prayer and never actually leaving the burden of these troubles behind. Asking him to lead us and then leaving prayer with the same stack of problems we claimed to be leaving at the Alter of our prayers; in reality all we do is kneel down open the backpack up and tell him everything that is in there throw it all back in and take it with us while we exit, as Jesus watches us leaving with his hands held out wishing we would just let if all go.

I ask that you, my friends pray for me. I wish I was as bold face to face as I am in these what feels to be one sided letters. God calls the bold, the fearless, the honest, the determined, and so on. And I know God has me for a reason but like so many of you I feel weak as well. God is merciful and continues to lead me on this journey. I look forward to the day where I have surrendered my wants to the point where my spirit is allowed to be as courageous as it truly is, not worried about offending another person. Faithful to the Father and his teachings; may we all grow together in Jesus Christ. Thank you for being here and may you all have a blessed beginning of the school year. Amen


*This Girl*


May we never think we are above others, for God saved us just as much as He saved everyone else.

I was once talking to someone, during that conversation I wondered in my mind. How, if all of these different types of churches serve The Christ, why do we all seem so divided? It is said that the devil is the author of confusion. Well, if this is so then all of these different churches disagreeing with each other makes sense. Notice how God wrote 1 Bible, and yet the world has many different versions. No wonder we are so confused as to what God stands for and what he wants from us. It pains me to think of this in depth, I have been to many churches and it seemed like few if any at all withheld the inner fire and desire the Holy Spirit feeds us with. There are many things I could say about this lack of unity, but I will keep it short and only touch on one thing. We all seem to judge people from different churches, whether it be their prayers, music, worship, service, preacher/pastor, ceremonies etc; one of the biggest things we do is compare sins. Oh how the mighty have fallen. In the Bible it says this…

“Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.”

Galations 5:19-21

If you do not know the meaning of a word, have the dedication to look it up… fornication = sex of unmarried persons, Lasciviousness = lust, Variance = Disagreement, emulations = attempting to be equal or excellence ones qualities, seditions = rebelling speeches, heresies = belief or opinion contrary to religious doctrine, inherit = take by death of an ancestor. (Jesus died for us)

You see, all of these sins equal the same punishment, so why are we comparing and judging? Your walk with God is just your walk with God and that goes for them as well; their walk with God is their walk with God. Focus on what God wants from you and just you. Not you and your brother/sister in Christ, not you and your mother, just you. God will lead you, you just have to believe. We are so busy being tangled in everyone else’s mess that we cannot even begin to conceive what kind of mess we are in due to us trying to do everything while claiming we are letting God lead. You cannot work on you and your brother at the same time.

For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?

Mathew 7:2-4

This is not about the church people that sit next to you, or the preacher who preaches loud, or the cute choir singer. This is not about your spouse, your children or your elderly family members. This is about you my friends, we are held accountable for our own salvation, some of us are in charge of others as well but you cannot, I repeat, you cannot help anyone else unless you have a good handle on your own.

Family members stress you out, pray for God to give you patience and love. Loved ones make you angry, pray that God gives you strength and wisdom to only say what the spirit leads you to say. Work confuses you, pray for understanding. Do not know what to do next in life, pray that God leads the way to the path he has planned for you and then be willing to see the signs, even if it is not what you want .

Know that I care about you all dearly, may we all pray for understanding and patience in these trying times.


*This Girl*

What Defines Us

What defines us as Christians? This can be a tricky question and depending on what type of christian you are your answer will be different. All religions have a way of identifying each other, it is typically by something they do regularly. Like a Catholic that goes to confessional or how one might have their ladies wearing skirts and never cutting their hair. But what defines us christians who simply follow the bible and do what God asks of them? I became really sad when a friend of mine was afraid that we could not be friends because all of the other Christians in his life practically expect him to be perfect and act all righteous when they are with him, as if they have never sinned in their life. My Heart broke as he told me this. Brothers and sisters God saved all of us and has forgiven everyone for their sins, so why do we look on the people who are not like us with such prejudice, judging every move they make. Jesus told us when we were wrong but he did not bash us when we did not know any better. I do not care if you have been a christian your whole life we have all sinned. The Bible puts lying on the same level as witchcraft meaning that there are no levels of sin to God. So even if your worst sin is lying it is still just as bad as a murderer.

We should accept people as they are like Jesus did. How else will they see God and want him just as much as we do. We cannot be the light if we are to busy dealing with the dark in our thoughts. Actions say more than words ever will. If you meet someone who does not see God as one who has saved us and is always there for us then show him/her love. Gods unending love. Show understanding and care for them. Let them ask questions and then let the holy spirit in you answer them. These people will only see God when you choose not to get in the way. Anyone who is not yet with God has just not accepted the fact He saved them and has forgiven them. But God still sent his Son to die on the cross for them so they are just as much Gods children as they are human and made of the flesh.

Pray that God takes over your daily life, actions, words & thoughts so that people can see him in you. I wish that all would come to see and love God the way I do, it is sad to know that we all will not make it. But strive to let God have his way. I have realized that we cannot do anything without Him. Pretty pathetic right, He died for us and the only thing he gets in return is full control over us so that he can have his way; we can’t even help him. What a wonderful God we serve, I truly feel blessed.

I feel like I am not giving enough. But it will never be enough. We must all humble ourselves and pray that the Father takes us over so that others see him. The more of us that take this on the more of Gods light everyone else will see. You cannot do anything but surrender. What does that mean? Well, Friends, that means that you cannot gain wisdom without him, you cannot understand his way without him, you cannot do the right thing without him, you cannot lead someone to him without him, you cannot preach his word without him, you cannot lead your family the way he wants without you, you cannot be on the path he has for you without him, you will not make it without Him. Fear of how it will turn out and worry that you aren’t doing it right are things the devil will use against you on your journey. Stay in prayer, ask for peace. He will lead the way for you, you just have to let him. Let every day pass with you letting more of yourself go until one day you no longer exist. The flesh is no longer in control and the Spirit of the Lord has complete and full control of your every day life. Never give up, persistence, patience & loyalty, the keys to success.

For those of you who are ready to hear this you will understand what I am saying. For those who do not understand pray that God gives you understanding. They say the squeaky wheel is the one to get the oil, so keep showing up and keep asking God for understanding. I love you all dearly, have a wonderful day.


*This Girl*

The Power of prayer

This is your sacred duty, as one chosen by Christ himself we should see it as an honor to make time for him in our daily lives. Prayer is where we come to know the Lord and gain understanding; not necessarily in the things we want but in the things the soul needs to continue its journey to the Father. You hear a lot of excuses going around often about prayer and how the average christian is going to carry out their christianly duties before bed by reciting the Lord’s prayer. How dare we take the moments with our Father so lightly. We even go so far as to lie about it saying to our fellow brothers and sisters “oh, well, I will certainly pray for you”; a disgrace, dishonor, a shame. Does your soul not scream in pain when we deprive it of what it needs?

I understand that for some of you the most famous excuse is “but, I do not know how to pray”. How come then you do not get on your knees and tell the Father that? Or do you think your problem too small for the almighty to take his time to help? A shame, is this where our faith has come to? This goes to show how weak the foundation of our current christians belief system is. I say, for those of you who have been with God long enough to understand the true depth and foundation of God; we should be asking God to give us people to disciple so that not only can they grow in the faith through guidance, but we can also grow in our faith through a different perspective. I work for emergency services where I was once told that an EMT could never survive without a Paramedic; but the same was also true for the Paramedic, they could not survive in the field without the EMT. Because the EMT only has the foundational skills to save a persons life so they keep the Paramedic grounded in their thinking and because the Paramedic has much higher training they can do things the EMT cannot accomplish without further training. As a christian we should be praying for a fellow believer to join us on our pilgrimage to God, like Christian had Hopeful and Faithful in the book Pilgrims Progress.

These are hards times for christians, cry out to God. Tell him what you cannot do and then let him fill the gaps. If you truly have no idea how to pray I will leave you with this and I hope that your prayers with God will change your life the way they have with me. I want you to dedicate a moment in every day for you to spend time alone on your knees with your eyes closed before the Lord. You are on your knees to show submission and your eyes are closed so that you may have no physical distractions. Once you are there I want you to say something like this…

Dear God,

I do not know what I am doing, or what this is supposed to look like. I do not know what to say, but I know the Holy Spirit which you gave me knows what to say. So I ask that you teach me how you want me to pray, and that you lead the Spirit inside of me and get the full glory for everything that happens from here on out.


After that, if you continue to pray and let God lead you will embark on a marvelous journey. But only if you let him lead you on that journey. You cannot have what you want and what he wants in the same life. We cannot serve two masters. Light and darkness cannot occupy the same room. So it is either God or the Devil, Heaven or Hell, light or dark, right or wrong in Gods standards your choice.

I hope that you come to love Him the way my Spirit has lead me to. I will continue to pray that more people see God as an essential part of their life and not just a pass time religion. If you have already embarked on this Journey; please, feel free to share your testimony in the comments box. I love you all brothers and sisters in Christ. Have a wonderful day.


*This Girl*


I have wanted to have this discussion for awhile. I was just not sure how to start it, if you know what I mean. So I am going to attempt to explain myself.

Maturity by definition means-“Ripe; perfected by time or natural growth; as a man of mature age. We apply it to a young man of mature age. We apply it to a young man who has arrived to the age when he is supposed to be competent to manage his own concerns; to a young woman who is fit to be married; and to elderly men who have much experience.” Noah Webster 1828 Dictionary

“Competent to manage his own concerns”. Hmm, interesting; let’s see what Competent means. By definition it means-“Suitable; fit; hence, sufficient, that is, fit for the purpose; adequate.” Noah Webster 1828 Dictionary

Now that we understand what we are talking about I will lay out the complete topic of today. The difference between spiritual maturity and worldly maturity, after which I would like to explain how you know if you are mature.

The first thing I must stress is that you must choose to be mature and that it is something that is learned not instantly gained. Trust me, I know; it has been a long road.

Now, the worldly maturity is by the definition above Suitable to manage his/her own concerns. Basically that they can make their own decisions without any help, usually accepting the consequences with grace. Doesn’t always happen right! That is when we get into Spiritual maturity. Spiritual maturity comes in when we have not just accepted Jesus as our savior but have also decided to walk the walk God has laid out for us. In time becoming more and more like him. We then start to build our character and our moral thought process. One where you love your enemies, you don’t envy anyone or want what someone else has. Your focus is on Christ who gives you peace. So that when something doesn’t go how your flesh would want it to go your so focused on God that you just accept the consequence knowing it is your fault. Now, there is a worldly maturity that can look like this. This is when one takes on the fact that the consequence comes from their choice and they just walk in it.

Some of you may be thinking that consequences are a bad thing. No, they are just the result of a decision. Cooking dinner (the choice) creates dirty dishes that you now have to clean (the consequence). I give the cashier the money she asks for (the choice) then I get to walk out of the store with the groceries I want without someone chasing me (the consequence).

Now, just because you are older than 18 does not mean you are mature. You may be legally an adult but that does not mean you are mature enough to make the right decision. Hence alcohol is withheld until you are 21.

“How do I tell that I am mature?” Good question, the first step to knowing whether you are mature or not is not easy and there is more to it, but let’s see if you can answer these questions.

Can you make your own decisions and accept the consequences gracefully? If you cannot answer this with a solid yes then no, you are not mature yet.

Next question, If you know you do not handle certain things well, do you try to handle things better or do you continue on with your life handling things bad? These could be things like how you treat a family member, how you act when you do not get your way, how you handle something out of your control. If you continue to not better yourself or hesitate on whether you better yourself like asking “what does that even look like?” then the answer is, No you are not yet mature.

Okay, next question. When having a discussion with someone and you disagree with their thought process do you argue or do you let them believe what they believe and still treat them well after that conversation? If the answer is no, I treat them rudely and them dump them as a friend or any other answer that is different then you letting them believe what they believe while you still being nice then no, you are not yet mature.

Why do I keep saying, “Not yet mature” instead of you are not mature? Well, that is because I believe that you can change that and be very mature. As a matter of fact I have full faith that you can be mature. But you have to make that choice, it is a mindset. How do I become mature you ask, start with changing whichever of the questions you got no on to yes. For instance, if you have conversations with people and do not agree on their view point, it is okay to explain why you think the way you think. But arguing is never the answer and people respect individuals that let them have their own way of thinking. If you do not know how to better yourself then start with thinking about what you do not like about other people and then make sure you do not do it yourself. Do you see where I am going with this. There are always opportunities to better yourself. Like facing fears or learning something new.

There is a whole lot more to being mature than just the few examples I gave you and I hope to discuss it more. But if you can not say yes to all of the questions above then I cannot give you more information. You will get overwhelmed. One of the biggest things about being mature is growing as a person, in how you handle things, respond to people, the way you think and even the way you act. Being mature is a life style that many people are not willing to try. I hope you do. I will be waiting to hear stories of your success. Good luck dear friends!


*This Girl*

All Lives Matter!

Isn’t it interesting how Satan is the author of confusion? I used to wonder how that was, but the answer is very clear to me know. It is easy to rule in chaos as long as you act like you have the answers. I want to discuss one of the newer works of confusion that has been cooked up. It all started with Covid-19 and now we are here with this said, “Black Lives Matter” and the rioters.

I wish to discuss with you that (all lives matter). Not just the white, not just the asian, not just the European, not just the aborted babies. All lives matter! This new movement is hurting so many people in more than one way. If black lives mattered you would think they would show love but instead they are destroying things that do not just belong to the white man. I am sorry that it has come to this, I hope it ends before things get worse. What they are doing is disgraceful, even shameful. I would never wish to look at my kids in the future and say I was a part of this, and if I was a part of this I would want to look at them with sadness in my eyes and heart, sorry that I had taken part in this.

This is treason of the highest. Not just to the government, but also to our own fellow humans. I am sorry for those of you who join this group blindly not fully understanding what’s going on here. This is not about racism, that’s just a mask of the real intent.

If this is really about how the blacks are mistreated then let us have this discussion. Because many of you may not actually understand what happened to start black slavery. Oh, I know. I have already lost a lot of you because you’re thinking how you know the whole story. Well if you do then I can not believe that your okay with the blacks constantly bringing up the past because it was not all the white mans fault, and black people were not the only people in history to be enslaved.

Let’s check some facts. The jews where enslaved and killed by the Germans. Ak natives were enslaved or forced to work by the Russians. Many other natives were enslaved and mistreated by people like the Mexicans and Europeans. The list goes on, but here is how the black slavery started.

Now black slavery came about when the colonists started growing cash crops. Crops that they sold to make money so they could buy what they actually needed to live. The supply and demand started to exceed their workforce, so they started looking for other options as far as people to work the fields. They first used what was called indentured servants to do the work. These were people who wanted to come to America but could not afford the boat fee so they paid with some years of service. It is said that not all were released, some were kept as slaves indefinitely. So white men were enslaved around this time period, just not on a big scale like the black people. When there were not enough of these said servants to work the fields the colonists looked for other options. At the time Africa was having her own set of issues. There were many tribes of people living in Africa and they had their own little disputes. But they found out that the colonists would pay them in guns and money for people to work the field. It became a race for the tribes to sell their own country men so that they can take out their enemies (the other tribes). So the white colonists may not have treated these black people well at all, but it was their own country that sold them out. Things got worse for Africa when they shut down the slave trade and made all of the slaves free people. It took a long time to do it but once the slave trade was shut down Africa stopped getting paid and it went under, hence the poverty after all of that, so Africa got what they had coming. On top of this they sold more men slaves then women slaves so once it was all said and done there were not enough men to do the work or to make families.

Don’t you see, we are fighting the wrong enemy. And grant it the white people bought and mistreated you but this happened years ago, and the white men also fought for your freedom. A white man fought to make slave trade illegal. The black people were made free in the time of the civil war. The president was Abraham Lincoln, (a white man). So if this is about race (it’s not) then I would like some form of decent explanation. Because everything they are doing does not help the black people. Honestly they are doing the reverse. They are hurting them.

Please, stand for what you believe in. I will respect you either way. I am not here to start a fight, I am just here to state my opinion on the matter.

I love you all and hope you have a wonderful day! God bless you, Amen.


*This Girl*

Patience, Faith and Prayer

These two words go hand in hand “Patience and Faith. One must not live without the other. Both are not just merely words though, they are actions and feelings that must be a part of our everyday life to make a change. We have to instill them into our souls just as much as our heart for them to work in full effect.

Many times we have to wait for what God has for us, but if we do not have faith that he will do the right thing in the end or patience as we wait for hime to do what he said he would do, then we will never find peace, rest, and we might miss what he does.

My friends, we live in troubled times right now. Some of us more than others, I want to say I am sorry. I am sorry that we are suffering, but at the same time I am glad for us. For God does his greatest works in our greatest moments of weakness. Have hope brothers and sisters, we will get through this. But only with God helping us, guiding us, giving us peace & understanding; we must pray.

Prayer, it seems to be one of the most dreaded things to do for a christian. Even reading the bible, something we were founded off of seems to be a dread for christians. Brothers and sisters this is the time to get equipped, there is no time for fun and games. Look what is happening to our country! We have been on the fence in our christianity for far too long. Will you make a stand? Will you pray for the people who are burning buildings and killing lives? Will you pray for the police and other EMS personnel to have safety as they work? Will you pray that the government God has appointed will stand up to those who commit treason? Will you pray for the people who have lost their jobs? Will you pray for the kids who don’t know what school next year will look like? Will you pray that this racial fight will end?

People seem quick to say what they do not like and yet they are slow to pray. They are slow to get down on their knees before the only one that can change/fix this. They are slow to pray before the one that has the answer.

But even if you do not care about all of that. I want you to do one thing. I cannot make you, I can only ask that you do this earnestly and come back and testify if this helped you. So many people want to pray, but are unsure how to pray. They read the Lords prayer, and are still confused. That my friends, was me a few short months ago. I want to share what changed so that maybe you can try it. This is for anyone who struggles praying.

I want you to go somewhere no one can bother you, either every night or every morning. Start with once a day. I want you to just “show up”. Get on your knees, close your eyes. Don’t you dare pray with your eyes open, the flesh sees an opportunity to distract you by diverting your thinking to what you see. Close them tightly, try not to think of anything (this will take you a couple of times) Call out to him, whether you call him God, Father, Jehovah that’s fine. Just call out to him. Tell him that you do not know what you are doing, but that you’re here. Ask him to show your soul what to pray for. Pray for peace, pray for his help to pray. Tell him everything, he wants to hear it all. Tell hime your troubles, tell him your hopes and dreams, tell him about your friends. Something! But whatever you do, do not open your eyes and leave until you have a complete peace in your soul to get up and leave. The devil will try to talk you out of prayer saying, “It’s too late,” “You should really go to bed,” “Hanging out with family is more important,” “Why do you have to pray? It’s not like anyone else does,” “This can’t possibly help you,” etc… He knows exactly what to say to get you to leave. Don’t let him win.

I have found so much peace in prayer, I have found love I cannot find anywhere else, in prayer. I have found internal understanding in prayer. I have found abundant patience in prayer. I have found a peace in my heart that cannot be explained in prayer. I have lost most if not all of my anxiety with prayer. This is not a joke! It is freeing. And when I do not do it I feel a missing hole in me that cannot be filled by anything else. Please, heed my words and try. It will be worth every minute.

For those of you who read this, and do not do what I ask of you. I am sorry, I am sorry that I could not explain it in a way that would cause conviction to at least try. For you will never know what you have missed, you will never understand the peace and love I now have. The freedom I feel is liberating.

For those of you who read and try this. Please, share this with others. More need to understand the power of prayer that I speak of.

For those of you who know what I speak of and do it, keep going, and if you ever stop praying, start again. God will always forgive you and let you try again. I have missed days before and have come back repenting in tears for my soul was torn over it and he forgave me every time. If you let your spirit given by God guide you in your everyday path, one day you will never forget prayer and if you do you will feel your soul tear until you do it.

I love every single one of you. I hope this was of some help and that God gives you the conviction and drive to do what is necessary for the kingdom of God. Hallelujah, Amen.


*This Girl*

Know Thyself

Hello friends,

I want to apologize for not being here for you guys these past few weeks. I have been dealing with a lot, as I am sure you all have as well. I have been learning a lot of lessons over the past few weeks that I want to share with you guys.

Lesson 1: Be/Know yourself

This is a hard one to explain but I am going to try anyway.

The Bible talks about loving your neighbor as much as yourself; a person once told me that even though the bible says that, we have to keep in mind that we cannot love our neighbor, if we do not love ourselves as well. I am not talking about the narcissistic love that people seem to attempt to indulge in these days. I mean a kind of loving yourself so much that you get to the point were you’re comfortable with your “shortcomings” or “differences” as people like to call them. The way you might laugh too loud. The way you might be scared of spiders. The way you expect trust and faith in a friendship. The way you put your families needs over your own. The way you would work so hard to make everyone else happy that you forget about yourself. The way you dress. The way you act. The list goes on and on, the questions is… Do you even know yourself enough to love yourself.

So many people, especially young people are spending so much time hating on themselves or hating the things that make them “them”. Doesn’t it feel like your chasing your tail sometimes? In this mad circle for power or leverage over people, making it where the kind, innocent & loving people who might be insecure get walked all over. Notice that the ones who get walked all over are the people who are still trying to figure themselves out or they do not know how to stand up for themselves yet because they are to busy trying to make you happy.

I wish young people would spend the time to find out what they actually like and do not like. I wish they would spend time building their character instead of their instagram profile. How much time do we spend trying to be what we are not? Some of you may be thinking, but it is who I am. No, it is who you have made yourself to be. Put down the distractions, learn your values, what is important to you, what you want in your friends, where you might want to be in a few years. People have been spending so much time compromising who they are to be liked by people that everyone is just an internet profile walking around trying to get as many likes as possible. If you think about it, what we are really doing is just lying to everyone around us about who we are. I am not here for an argument, I am here to state facts, what I have learned, what I have gone through as a person. So many people stereotype and assume things that we actually are not only hurting those around us but we are hurting ourselves as well. It is just a vicious cycle that keeps on taking and never giving back.

For those who want to spend their early years on dating all the time, for those who change themselves to fit in the crowds or klicks of people who do not deserve to have you around, and anyone else who doesn’t spend time building themselves as a person and a character or who just doesn’t understand, I have some advice for you from some supposedly great people. I think their advice is pretty legit, so I am going to do my best to quote them.

My sister told me about this quote she found, I thought it was from Churchill but I couldn’t find it so I will sum up.

“If you look up at your circle of friends and are not inspired by them, then you need to get yourself new friends.”

There was of a father who gave his son his great grandfathers watch, he told the son that before he could keep it he needed to take it to an antique shop, a pawn shop, and an antique museum to see what they would all pay for the watch. The antique shop said they would pay $150 because it had a dent in it, the pawn shop said $10 because it was so old and the Museum offered over $5,000 saying they would love to have it in their collection of war antiques. When the son went back and told the father this the father said, stay with people who value you for what you’re worth like the museum that valued at $5,000 the watch even though it was old.

Know that you are worth it, your value is so much greater than you even give yourself credit for. God loves us so much that he has the hairs on our head numbered and he got to know us before our mothers even met us. How wonderful, to know that someone has loved me from the start. Even if you are alone in your opinion, you will never be alone or without love for the Father never leaves us. If you truly believe that your value is not that great, then do something to change that. Learn how much our Father loves us by reading his word, do things outside of your comfort zone in faith that God is with us when we are scared, learn to enjoy your own company, learn what is important to you. You cannot love anyone if you do not love yourself. You cannot love your family, your friends, your spouses, your children, no one; because you yourself do not know what it means to love. No one should love you more than you, aside from God (he knew you first) 😉 .

I hope this helps you guys, I can talk further about it but I do not want to bore you anymore. I pray that you are all safe and well during this interesting time. May the Father “God” have the glory for everything, Amen.


*This Girl*

P.S. I want to give credit to the artist for this wonderful art, her name is Jessi Ford. You can see more of her art on instagram, she does not post often but you can find her under the name rangerjessi!

COVID-19 = Churches closed

Wow, things seemed to have changed over night friends…It was not that long ago that we all went out on spring break thinking all would be well with the world. I have heard a lot of supposed facts throughout all this. Working multiple jobs I have sat in meeting after meeting. In my personal life we sit in on discussion, after discussion. Go into store after store that has different policies, thoughts, and ways of handling this mess. It is hard to say what I agree with and disagree with sometimes. Sometimes I look at it and I have to chuckle to myself, if I did not laugh a little I do believe that I would just cry. Cry in pain for what I see happening and possibly coming. Some people fight each other, and over what? Toilet paper, hand sanitizer and flour? What has our country turned into?

If this post I found on facebook was remotely true at all China has got toilet paper in their country and they have had the virus longer than all of us! Our churches are closed, My God He is probably looking down on us in shame and disappointment. Our churches can’t even be there for their own congregation! This shows our faith Pastors! Deacons! Church People! That is what our faith means to us. People say, “Oh, but it’s contagious!” If it truly is a virus then there will never be anything to stop it, it will alway have to run its course through the body. Oh Holy Father how ashamed I am and they must be. Sense when did the government have the right to shut our services down. The first amendment tells us the government can’t shut us down! Some of y’all may be thinking “well, This Girl they still have those TV preachers and all” They are only there for the money! They are not there for your soul. If I was to be straight and completely honest it has been years sense I have seen a preacher preach for your soul. Talking about how if your going to talk that walk we should be walking it! A preacher who not only says what he believes but also does it himself! One who is there because God put him there and he is on a mission to send you to Jesus so that He can save your souls.

I was talking to my physical therapist one day, I told him that I am a firm believer in the fact that everything happens for a reason. You just have to be open enough to see it. It might not be for you, not everything happens for just us. It may be to meet someone, for someone to see how you walk. It could be that there was a life lesson in it, it could simply be God telling Satan like in Job; see I told you so he/she didn’t forsake me. We have to be humble, wise and patient to get an answer sometimes. Occasionally the answer will not come to you for months; and that is fine too. Live in faith. I’ll give you people an example…

I was working the last couple of days for the school year (last year) and I was told I might be sent to another school. I ignored this information hoping that it would not be me they were sending away. Just to get a letter in June saying how they could not use me at my school any longer and were moving me. They asked me where I wanted to go and sent me a list of options. I was torn, I spent so much time and tears over that small piece of paper telling me where I could go. At some point I was on the phone with the lady who sent me the paper asking for her opinion. Telling her that I prefer middle and high schoolers, wanted to stay with behavioral kids and why etc… There was this school in the list, I had only subbed there once before I had gotten in the district and it was a lockdown facility for those kids who could not handle a normal school environment. My heard was lead to go there. But even if I picked that one I was not guaranteed the job because I had to pick at least 10 options for the district to pick from. Eventually ( at the last possible moment) I sent in the paper work with that lockdown school as my first option. Everyone was telling me not to go even my old teacher at the school I was let go from. I prayed and prayed scared stiff as to what would happen to me, in faith that God would do what he wanted with it and that I was no longer in control. I got a call several weeks before the next school year started. It was the same lady who was helping me pick where to go, I got the job at the lockdown facility. She said if I was being truly honest and that my heart was in it, no matter what, I would be happy there. Anyone I mentioned that school to would have a look of horror suddenly appear on their face. I often wondered why I was not one of those people. God has taken care of me from then on, I am happier there than I was at the old school. I truly love all of my staff and people over me. The children are challenged but truly wonderful and often misunderstood. And I still believe this after being yelled at by them, cursed at, called names, even watched a coworker get hit and a fire alarm pulled in the middle of winter. If we would all live in faith and love in Christ, we could all be as happy as I am in spirit, no matter the circumstances. I truly hope this information is helpful to you all and gives you a glimmer of hope. These are trying times especially socially and psychologically. May God keep our minds and hearts as we journey forward together.

God has carried my state through the largest earthquake we have seen in years this past school year, statewide fires this past summer, a flood up north during spring break and now this. I serve a mighty God and he will carry us through, but you must live in faith. Not just the understanding of faith be the action of faith as well, Amen.

If you want to see what God has to say on Faith read Hebrews…

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen… Hebrews 11:1


*This Girl*

Young, Single & Yet Free

Some people think that being single means being alone, lack of emotional support, boring and mundane. I would like to differ. Being young and single is very much the opposite. You are only alone if you choose to be, you can have female and male friends. There should never be a lack of emotional support, you can get it from family, animals, friends and God. Being young and single is never boring unless you choose it to be, you can go wherever and do whatever you want to do, no one to tell you otherwise! Oh what a dream right?

Those of you who have read earlier posts should know that I am not the only daughter in my family. My oldest loves having someone take care of her, she enjoys letting them do things for her. She enjoys feeling special and the one that is important. She has a strong personality and a kind heart. My second oldest sister wants very much to get married, have a family of her own. Stay at home and take care of her kids. Have a loving husband. You see both of them are young and single still.

Then you have me… I wish for something I do not believe I have ever seen. A love built off of mutual respect, a heartfelt desire to never leave the other. A connection that can only be created and blessed by the Father. Something that worldly things cannot break. An admiration of another I cannot escape. I have a love for the way things once were, and a respect for how they are now. I desire a bond that is very great. But until that time, I will wait. Patiently understanding that if it never happens… that is what was meant to be.

If you are young and single there are a couple personal things I suggest you do. After that I will suggest some things you do while you are still single.

  • Know what you want in a man/woman so that you do not sway for a lack of basic need. Write it down so that you have proof of your desires. Now do not go writing down… “oh, well I like black hair and green eyes, at least over 5 ft tall…” Looks are not the important part, if that is your focus then go to an old folks home and pick which older person you want your wife or husband to look like. Write what you want their personality and character to be like. Is honesty important, faithfulness, Patience, humility the list goes on… Keep going until you physically cannot think of anything else. Then keep it, and add to it as you learn about yourself.
  • After that you need to write down what you want to be for your soul mate. Oh Yes ladies and gentleman, relationships go both ways; 100% from you, 100% from them. You need to know what you are bringing to the table, or what you need to work on so that you can bring it to the table. There is nothing wrong with an imperfect list, we are humans.
  • Every person you meet that is the opposite sex, do not look at them as potential candidates. Look at them as potential friends or great colleagues. This keeps your mind from wandering and makes you behave the way you would with a friend and not a boyfriend/girlfriend.
  • Remember your list when looking/listening to people. Try to define their character, interests, morals, thought process, what matters most to them etc. and then refer back to your list. Your list can work as a character check for a friend as well as a life long partner. They say you are defined by your friends (those better be some pretty great friends) Its okay to be friendless, I have only recently acquired one of those and let me tell you they are hard to find. So once you find a good one if you lose them its your fault and shame on you.
  • This part is for those of you who are over zealous and have more time lol. Write down a solid list of how you see yourself in an amount of time. It could be 6 months, 2 yrs, a decade or right before you die. It doesn’t matter what time frame you put this at as long as once you fill this out you stick to it no matter what. This list is for if you never find a mate. If you are never given that person you desire to love even though you have never even met them. This list is not one of those where do you see yourself in 10 yrs lists. This can be that but this is more of what you want to be like as a person. Here, I will give you an example…

I wrote this list when I was younger so bare with me. More like I engraved it in my mind but it is much easier to write it down.

This is my character list… I add to it often and check things off when done.

  • I want to be chronically honest. (never lying unless absolute necessary)
  • I want to be strong in heart, mind, body and in faith.
  • I want to love people, even the worst of people unconditionally.
  • I want to care for the fatherless/motherless.
  • To make decisions with a clear mind and conscious.
  • To be there for the people who matter most even when I am having a hard time.
  • I want to do what is right for me, even if others do not understand.
  • To know what I want in life, family, faith and person.
  • To do what the Father has called me to do no matter the cost.

This is my future me list… I add to it when needed and check off what is completed.

  • Care for children who have no family.
  • Marry only once with no divorce
  • Live out of town in the country
  • Be content with just my company
  • No longer being afraid of being alone
  • Live out what God has called me to do.

These are just examples, get creative do it however you want to or need to. Next thing is to tell you things you can do while you are young, single and free. I am gonna give you suggestions, some are things I have done or are going to do other suggestions are things I have heard of.

  • Travel, whether it be a popup, camper, tent or traveling from place to place following work get out there and explore. You may never have the chance again when you get married. Things are harder with kids and a second opinion, unless you think like one.
  • Be spontaneous with life. Do things randomly. Drive an hour or more to a place you do not spend time in and rent a hotel, explore the place. Build your own opinion of it.
  • Make sure to have time off. Those of us who are single work a lot and do not normally take a lot of time off. One of the biggest things that keeps us healthy is to have time off. Set a day that no matter the job you will not work it. Take time to learn yourself.
  • Try new things. Take a dance class. Try art or snowboarding.
  • Volunteer places. Something that builds your knowledge and helps other people. It is so satisfying to help someone else.
  • Get an animal. If you travel get one that will travel with you. If you are a homie find an animal that is relaxing and fits your personality. It is well worth it. It takes your attention off of your possible lack of human interaction and gives you something to pour your love and emotions into. Someone you can trust who won’t argue with you.

If you have any more ideas or topics you want discussed or just simply want to share something. Please feel free to comment. Thank you for your time in reading this and I hope it was helpful. Have a great day, Amen.


*This Girl*

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