Young, Single & Yet Free

Some people think that being single means being alone, lack of emotional support, boring and mundane. I would like to differ. Being young and single is very much the opposite. You are only alone if you choose to be, you can have female and male friends. There should never be a lack of emotional support, you can get it from family, animals, friends and God. Being young and single is never boring unless you choose it to be, you can go wherever and do whatever you want to do, no one to tell you otherwise! Oh what a dream right?

Those of you who have read earlier posts should know that I am not the only daughter in my family. My oldest loves having someone take care of her, she enjoys letting them do things for her. She enjoys feeling special and the one that is important. She has a strong personality and a kind heart. My second oldest sister wants very much to get married, have a family of her own. Stay at home and take care of her kids. Have a loving husband. You see both of them are young and single still.

Then you have me… I wish for something I do not believe I have ever seen. A love built off of mutual respect, a heartfelt desire to never leave the other. A connection that can only be created and blessed by the Father. Something that worldly things cannot break. An admiration of another I cannot escape. I have a love for the way things once were, and a respect for how they are now. I desire a bond that is very great. But until that time, I will wait. Patiently understanding that if it never happens… that is what was meant to be.

If you are young and single there are a couple personal things I suggest you do. After that I will suggest some things you do while you are still single.

  • Know what you want in a man/woman so that you do not sway for a lack of basic need. Write it down so that you have proof of your desires. Now do not go writing down… “oh, well I like black hair and green eyes, at least over 5 ft tall…” Looks are not the important part, if that is your focus then go to an old folks home and pick which older person you want your wife or husband to look like. Write what you want their personality and character to be like. Is honesty important, faithfulness, Patience, humility the list goes on… Keep going until you physically cannot think of anything else. Then keep it, and add to it as you learn about yourself.
  • After that you need to write down what you want to be for your soul mate. Oh Yes ladies and gentleman, relationships go both ways; 100% from you, 100% from them. You need to know what you are bringing to the table, or what you need to work on so that you can bring it to the table. There is nothing wrong with an imperfect list, we are humans.
  • Every person you meet that is the opposite sex, do not look at them as potential candidates. Look at them as potential friends or great colleagues. This keeps your mind from wandering and makes you behave the way you would with a friend and not a boyfriend/girlfriend.
  • Remember your list when looking/listening to people. Try to define their character, interests, morals, thought process, what matters most to them etc. and then refer back to your list. Your list can work as a character check for a friend as well as a life long partner. They say you are defined by your friends (those better be some pretty great friends) Its okay to be friendless, I have only recently acquired one of those and let me tell you they are hard to find. So once you find a good one if you lose them its your fault and shame on you.
  • This part is for those of you who are over zealous and have more time lol. Write down a solid list of how you see yourself in an amount of time. It could be 6 months, 2 yrs, a decade or right before you die. It doesn’t matter what time frame you put this at as long as once you fill this out you stick to it no matter what. This list is for if you never find a mate. If you are never given that person you desire to love even though you have never even met them. This list is not one of those where do you see yourself in 10 yrs lists. This can be that but this is more of what you want to be like as a person. Here, I will give you an example…

I wrote this list when I was younger so bare with me. More like I engraved it in my mind but it is much easier to write it down.

This is my character list… I add to it often and check things off when done.

  • I want to be chronically honest. (never lying unless absolute necessary)
  • I want to be strong in heart, mind, body and in faith.
  • I want to love people, even the worst of people unconditionally.
  • I want to care for the fatherless/motherless.
  • To make decisions with a clear mind and conscious.
  • To be there for the people who matter most even when I am having a hard time.
  • I want to do what is right for me, even if others do not understand.
  • To know what I want in life, family, faith and person.
  • To do what the Father has called me to do no matter the cost.

This is my future me list… I add to it when needed and check off what is completed.

  • Care for children who have no family.
  • Marry only once with no divorce
  • Live out of town in the country
  • Be content with just my company
  • No longer being afraid of being alone
  • Live out what God has called me to do.

These are just examples, get creative do it however you want to or need to. Next thing is to tell you things you can do while you are young, single and free. I am gonna give you suggestions, some are things I have done or are going to do other suggestions are things I have heard of.

  • Travel, whether it be a popup, camper, tent or traveling from place to place following work get out there and explore. You may never have the chance again when you get married. Things are harder with kids and a second opinion, unless you think like one.
  • Be spontaneous with life. Do things randomly. Drive an hour or more to a place you do not spend time in and rent a hotel, explore the place. Build your own opinion of it.
  • Make sure to have time off. Those of us who are single work a lot and do not normally take a lot of time off. One of the biggest things that keeps us healthy is to have time off. Set a day that no matter the job you will not work it. Take time to learn yourself.
  • Try new things. Take a dance class. Try art or snowboarding.
  • Volunteer places. Something that builds your knowledge and helps other people. It is so satisfying to help someone else.
  • Get an animal. If you travel get one that will travel with you. If you are a homie find an animal that is relaxing and fits your personality. It is well worth it. It takes your attention off of your possible lack of human interaction and gives you something to pour your love and emotions into. Someone you can trust who won’t argue with you.

If you have any more ideas or topics you want discussed or just simply want to share something. Please feel free to comment. Thank you for your time in reading this and I hope it was helpful. Have a great day, Amen.

Sincerely,

*This Girl*

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