Decisions

One of life’s most consistent things is making decisions. I have a really hard time making decisions. Due to this I had to start coming up with strategies to help myself make these difficult choices. I would like to share them with you. Hopefully it will bring you joy and make your life easier.

Decide what you want – To make any decision you must decide what matters most to you; no matter how big he question is. It could be on whether to stay home with family or to go out with friends, whether to move out of state or not. Here, I will give you an example. I have been struggling on what jobs to work and what not to work, when to say no to friends so that I can rest for the next day etc. Here are a few decisions that I made on that topic.

I have to be happy in my choice.
I wanted the majority, if not all of my weekends off.
I wanted to avoid working bible study nights.
Good coworkers/management.
The work I was doing had to hold to hold a form of importance.

So once you have decided what matters to you move on to the next step so that you know what to do with that information.

Graphic Organizer – This is something that I was introduced to as an assistant teacher. My mother always called it the pro’s and con’s list. You would get a piece of paper, draw a line down the middle of it and on one side write what you like about the choice and on the other write what you do not like about the choice. So for me I would write on the left what I did not like (worked certain Saturdays) and on the right I would write (great co-workers). Keep working on the list until you have nothing left to put on it (keeping in mind what you want out of this decision). Once you have accomplished this you would make your decision.

Ask – There is no shame in asking someone that you trust their opinion. I pray about most of my tough decisions, even if they seem petty to me. I also like talking out my tough decisions with my mother. Pick someone who is a voice of reason that you will hear their side, make sure that you do what God leads you to do though.

Follow through – Make sure to follow through with your decision. This is probably the hardest step of all, I do not always feel as though I have the fortitude to follow through. It is always worth it in the end. So make sure you do it with all of your might.

Be Happy – Make sure that whatever you choose makes you happy. It is so important to be happy. Stress, disappointment, anger, resentment, they all wear the body and soul down. Stand for what you believe in and what you want.

I hope that this helps you. All of this information has been helpful to me and I hope it is to you as well. God bless!

Sincerely,

*This Girl*

November 13, 2019 0

Respect

What is respect? How do I earn it? Why do we want it? How do we show respect? Here are my thoughts on the subject…

Respect is treating someone with honor and dignity. Showing that you hold their opinion, thought process and actions in high regards. You can not earn this, it is only given. We desire respect as humans because it is a form of attention and recognition of our behaviors and actions. We desire to be appreciated and wanted. How do we show respect? Well, that is what we are about to talk about. Here are 5 things to implement when showing someone respect.

Active Listening – Active listening is a show of respect because we are showing that what they are saying matters. Their words hold significance to us. To learn more about active listening read this post. (https://thisgirlzlife.blog/2019/10/29/listen/ )
Respectful Speach/Response – When addressing them the least you could do is remember their name. Address them with a prefix to their name if you want to get fancy with it like Mr., Mrs., Miss, etc. Talk with a pleasant tone. No one likes to be talked to rudely or in a condescending tone.
Recalling – When talking to someone, something I found that earns you a lot of points with people is mentioning something that the opposing person mentioned last time you spoke. Example – “Wow, that’s amazing! Hey, I seem to recall that your mother was put in the hospital, how is she doing?” A simple sentence like that says a lot. It says “I really care about you and your well being.” “What you say actually means something.” “I am not talking to you just to pass the time, I am actually interested in what you have to say.”
Recognizing and Acknowledging – We all desire to be acknowledged for what we have done. Whether it is good or bad is completely irrelevant. Recognition, we all all want to be recognized at least for our efforts if nothing else. Even if you do not like the entirety of what happened you can say something like this “Hey, I saw that you were trying to help me with (said issue), I appreciate your effort but it would be more helpful if you do (this).” You recognized their attempt and acknowledged their desire to help, while redirecting their thought process so that they could be helpful in a more appropriate desirable way.
Admitting You are Wrong – This is huge! Nobody wants to admit that they are wrong. This means a lot to anybody. Admitting you are wrong makes you take up responsibility for your actions. That alone deserves respect in my books.

Okay, we have now covered the top 5 things that I suggest you carry out when attempting your hardest to show someone respect. Remember to always be genuine when you are doing things like this. Children and people who have walked the hard road can see right through you and those who can not, don’t deserve to be tricked by you. I hope this helps you and makes sense. May you have a blessed day.

Sincerely,

*This Girl*

November 12, 2019 0

Belief

Belief is something we have to create ourselves often. Not everyone believes in us. Not everyone roots for us from the grand stands. Sometimes we have to tell ourselves that we are enough, and we can do anything we put our minds to.

Something I was once told was “You can do anything you put your mind to.” What does that mean? How do I put my mind to something?

We put our minds to something by deciding it is important to us. If we carry it around our whole life it can become a character trait or a moral. Something as simple as deciding to choose your words wisely when talking to people is to take care to speak respectfully and honestly to someone. Carry that around for the rest of your life and suddenly honesty and respect becomes a habit and possibly a moral.

Beliefs can be many things from morals, to our opinions of people, to what we believe exists. Many people think that only special groups of people believe in things they cannot see, like scientists and religious people. In reality we all believe in something we can not see… oxygen perhaps. All people believe in something that we technically cannot see. The biggest one of all, in my opinion… is love.

I believe in a lot of things I cannot see. My biggest one is God. You might not be able to see him, I believe I can. I see him in nature, I hear him in the silence, I feel him comfort me when I am laboring to show him off in all of my actions and thoughts, I also feel him ever present in my decision making. When I read his word or listen to the men of God I feel him making what I need to hear or read stand out to me like a sign. My morals/beliefs are based off of the convictions I am given in his word. I refuse to have anything less than what he has planned for me.

Everyone’s beliefs are different. I implore you to discover what yours are so that you may know yourself better.

Sincerely,

*This Girl*

November 5, 2019 0

My Side of the Story

I am sitting beside you, do you not feel my presence? I am praying with you, do you not hear my tears hit the floor as I weep beside you? I laugh with you, I speak to you, and yet you think I’m just your conscious. I strive to keep you safe, can you not hear Me telling you that you shouldn’t do the very thing you are laboring so hard to do. I am with you during your car rides, meetings, grocery lines, classes, family discussions, alone time, and even when you are sleeping. I look out for your past, present, and future… do you not see me in it? I created this beautiful place called earth for you.

I have something for you. I hold it in my hand with care, like holding on to a new born babe, it’s the plan that I have for you. With great joy I raced to show you at the beginning stages of your life, so that you can get started right away and miss nothing. But you turn Me away with mutterings that you do not need Me, you can accomplish every thing you ever wanted without me… on your own. So I wait, I wait as a farmer would wait for rain. Some of you come straight forth, claiming your calling and who you are in God. Some of you I have to replant, some need more water, others need more shelter from the storm because they are fragile and need protecting. Some need more soil, or ground covering friends to help them. Some bring forth shade, others fruit, and some beauty. Many will do none of theses things. They shall bring forth thorns and thistles. They shall be a hindrance to there fellows, they will tell them “you can be anything, who needs God!” “He is not there anyway.” “Where is your God now?” “You will never be perfect, why try?” “Who do you think you are?”. They shall try to choke their brethren with their vines, hurt them with their thorns, and steal all their nutrients. They hated Me before you though. Ripped from the earth shall they be, as well as cut down at the root. They will get their just reward, focus on Me.

The point of the matter, or the reason for the story, is do you even want Me? Do you seek Me? I never left you, even though you accuse Me of such a treachery. I am here with you now and always.

Hallelujah, Amen,

November 5, 2019 0

Tolerance

What is tolerance? Is it a good thing? What can we accomplish with it? What do we get when we use it? What are we giving to the other person when we use it with them? All of these are valid questions. Here is my thought process on the matter.

Tolerance is the ability to withstand something that one may not necessarily agree with. The capability of enduring continual environmental conditions, without adverse reaction. Basically dealing with things we would rather not with, not a bad conduct, but one that may not be our best. Is it a good thing? Well, just like anything I believe it depends on how we use it. I think tolerating something for a short time knowing it will not last long is okay. To tolerate something continuously for a long time I believe would have a drain on ones soul. For example, you tolerate this person you met randomly at the park knowing your friends will be picking you up in the next five minutes. Hopefully you will never see this person again. “Ugh, such a bore,” you think. This will not have a long term effect on the person you are having a conversation with because they do not know how you act on a normal basis making it where they have nothing to compare your current mood too. On the other hand you could be tolerating this kid that you babysit three days out of the week for seven hours at a time and you cannot stand the kid because they are always coming over to you asking questions. How you act does have a massive impact on the other individual because they see how you act around them and how you are with other people. The child does not understand why you treat them so differently.

We tolerate other things too. Like the weather, backed up traffic, crying infants, coworkers, waiters and family. You should reflect on how you use your tolerance and if it is hurting someone. Our actions speak louder than our words. I had a coworker one time that I to this day, believe that she did not care for me at all. My assumption towards this was how she treated me compared to other people; her words soon confirmed her actions. These are things we need to keep in mind as followers of Jesus. What do the people around us see? Our arrogant self, or the Creator that rests inside of us.

May the Father show us our wrongs and convict us of them so that we may grow in Him, Amen.

Sincerely,

*This Girl*

November 1, 2019 1

Listen

Listening is a skill that must be practiced often, everyday and at any moment possible. Friendships and relationships thrive off of active listening to each other. I know you might be thinking it, what is the difference between just listening and active listening. Active listening is when you are looking at the person actively tracking their thought process and listening to their reasoning with genuine interest. Just listening could be listening to someone while you are drawing, listening without caring because what they are saying does not pertain to you etc.

How do you feel when someone is listening to you? They listen to the point that they remember weeks later what you said, and start conversations while bringing up what you both had talked about at an earlier date. It is a good feeling no? Realizing that someone cares to the point that they can tell you what you had said. That is one of the best feelings I have ever had. I do not know many people who actively listen, I could probably name off a few that actively listen consistently and then a few people who do it off and on.

Actively listening helps builds relationships. Makes people think that you actually care about them. That you actually hold them in your mind as important. There is a sense of security that comes along with it. A faith that can not be explained when you build a relationship off of honesty, active listening, and faith in the other individual.

Yes, active listening is hard. It takes time and practice to be efficient at it. Just remind yourself when you are having a conversation that what the other person is saying matters, the person matters, and because the person matters so does what they say.

I love meeting a good listener. Talking to them is so refreshing. Your conversations are filled with each other understanding one another, where they are coming from and their thought process. I enjoy conversations that talk about future goals, beliefs, morals, hobbies and likes such as favorite color, animal, music etc.

I hope this helps you in your quest for understanding. Have a wonderfully blessed day!

Sincerely,

*This Girl*

October 29, 2019 1

Choose Your Battles

This is a lesson my mother attempted to teach me sense I was very young. When she told me to choose my battles she was telling me that I needed to decide what was worth fighting or arguing over. My dad never called it fighting he always called it a heated debate. No matter what you call it, it is still not edifying to yourself or the other people engaged in the discussion.

Something else I was told was “do not spend more than five minutes fuming over something that will not matter in the next five years. ” If it does not matter in the future do not worry about it. Something else to keep in mind is that you need to get to know yourself and how you react to things. This information is a vital key to figure out how to handle things. Here is an example, I know that I get really frustrated when I find out that the people I had asked to feed the family dogs for the morning or evening did not do it. Because I know this I will ask the person that was assigned it later on in the day if they actually fed these said dogs. Before I ask them I will converse with myself and decide that it is okay if they did not get to it and that maybe they had something urgent that came up and were not able to do it. My real life conversation with myself is a lot longer and it takes a lot more convincing than I am showing you but I kept it simple for you. Having these conversations with myself really do help me.

Another idea is to constantly think happy thoughts. Why you like the person? What could have gone wrong to prevent them from acting appropriately? How can I help them be better? These are questions that you can ask yourself to help you see things in a different perspective. Now am I expecting you to be able to walk away from this post and fully understand what I am saying? No, absolutely not. We are all still human and live in sin. Ask God in the morning during your prayer time for the strength, patience and understanding to conquer the day.

Other simple things you could do is remember to breath, constantly ask yourself questions, remove yourself from the situation temporarily with respect towards the other person, and count backwards. You might be asking “how can those things possibly help me?” Well, let me explain these suggestions.

Breath: Remember to breath. So many people get frustrated and angry that they either forget to breath all together or they are randomly holding there breath imagining that they are holding in there anger. (it doesn’t do what you think it does) Holding your breath makes you more upset because all you are concentrating on is your incredible dislike for the situation. So instead I suggest taking deep breaths while imagining letting go of your anger. Remember two wrongs do not make a right. Do not fight fire with fire. If you show kindness and respect to the person your frustrated with you can normally change the atmosphere of the situation.

Constantly ask questions: I do this so that I am constantly giving myself another perspective. As an example: you are frustrated with your partner/sibling/friend because they did not wash the dinner dishes Wednesday night and it was their turn, so you had to do it. When you think on the situation we want to ask these questions. What happened to make it where they were incapable of doing the dishes? Why were the dishes not done? Are they okay? Did something happen early that day or sometime else in the week? Always ask questions.

Remove yourself with respect towards the other person: Sometimes we need to tap out of a situation. This is something you will have to learn about yourself. You need to tap out before everything gets to heated. Let’s say you and your spouse are having an argument of when your child needs to go to bed. You are trying to listen and be understanding but all you can hear in your head is your reasoning and why you think you are right. You need to say something similar to this because we need to remove ourselves from the situation with respect towards the other person,”You know I really want to continue this conversation, but I am really frustrated with this whole situation, I just need a break and then we can continue this conversation.” Make yourself come back to the conversation after about 5 min. Do not wait till the next day. This coping skill is not for you to abuse and try to put your problems behind you. This coping skill is to help you teach yourself how to handle situations while still respecting the other persons space and thought process.

Count backwards: Counting backwards might sound silly, even for adults. Some people count backwards from 5 some from 15 and others from 30. I would not count backwards from a number bigger than 30 because then you are avoiding the situation. Counting backwards is a commitment because once you hit zero your act better be together. Counting backwards rewires your thought process, calms you down and makes you breath while focusing on one task and not eighty different tasks.

Remember this will all take practice and time. No one is perfect. These are all lessons we could all use in our daily life. You might be asking why I am teaching you to deal with your situations rather than how to avoid them. Well, I do not believe in avoiding. Avoiding situations cause unhealthy relationships because nothing is ever figured out and your constantly frustrated with someone. This post is to hopefully help you deal with your frustrations and difficulties.

Now use this knowledge for good and be great. I have faith in you.

Sincerely,

*This Girl*

October 28, 2019 0

Imagination

How do we benefit from such a thing as imagination? What creates it? What could possibly drive such a powerful thing as imagination? I wish to convey to you my thoughts and feelings on this subject. This subject has always caused me to be in wonder and constant consideration of how things start and go. Even our dreams and nightmares can be made from strictly imagination. I had a fellow coworker tell me one time that our brains are like fish in the sea. Our brains have to be working constantly just like certain fish cannot stop swimming otherwise they will die. Which is why we dream at night.

For generations we have been told that imagination is useless, a waist of space and that we need to get practical. Even in schools we were all taught to be in assembly lines and to do things in time frames. We are given about four minutes to get to the next class period at school while constantly being asked what we are up to.

What happens when we leave Elementary? We stop drawing, no longer playing pretend. The small happy moments of mild satisfaction now fill our hearts with discontentment because we are constantly told to act in a way that is out of our character or to be something that we are not. We stop thinking outside of the present into the future and up in the clouds. Kids tell me what they want to be, but how it is not possible for them to do it. Saying “it will never be accomplished I might as well give up now than be disappointed later. Even adults say what they had wished they had done in there earlier years and what regrets they carry around today like burdens.

Imagination is what helps us create things. It is the pivotal point in history when our brain makes a connection from the imaginary to the reality. The thought of having light whenever we want could have been the original idea to create a light bulb.

Sometimes we use our imagination in our everyday lives without even knowing it. Like playing a scenario over and over again in our minds thinking about how it could have turned out differently. Deciding if you stay in the traffic lane you are in or if you move to the next one would you progress faster through traffic? What would happen if we ate just one more cookie. What would happen if we could willingly and consciously tap into that resource. Oh! all of the things we could accomplish!

I wish there was a way to encourage people to use their imagination. New things get invented, stories get written. Hopes get built and dreams become more vivid and tangible.

I often think about what it would take to get us back to the wide eyes, broad thought process. I miss the wishful thinking. The constant wondering and hoping for better things. The imagination that makes us think of ways out of bad situations, things that we could do better etc.

Imagination helps me when I think about what it would be like to be the best I could be. Sometimes I imagine myself in the future. This may sound silly, but I created a character that resembles something close to how I see myself in the future. What I want to do, how I want to treat people, how I see my career and future. It is a great thing to imagine these things. Makes you consider other options and routes.

Maybe if we all did that we would be setting up for ourselves a visual goal. A thought out plan full of hope. Maybe if we were willing to see things in a different light or accept things out of the box God would not have such a hard time showing us what he has for us because we are already accepting of the unknown.

I am interested to hear who else uses there imagination on a daily basis and how.

Sincerely,

*This Girl*

October 27, 2019 0

Consistency

When I think of consistency it reminds me of an attribute we use when we cook or bake something over and over again. It also reminds me about parenting, teaching even learning in our everyday lives.

I hear the word consistency often at my current job. I work for the school district with young people who require a more obvious schedule, structured learning and so forth. One of the teachers asked me when I started working with the children if I could be as consistent as possible. He asked me to be consistent with everything so that the children understood the expectations, reasoning and the why we do what we do.

As I have thought about this more I realized that my kids were not the only ones who needed consistency, I needed it as well. I needed to be consistent on what time I got up in the morning, when I feed the animals. When I did my paperwork. I had to be consistent on giving myself breaks, relax and contemplate on what happened in my day and any possible changes to it I could have made.

How do you utilize consistency in your life? Is it a thought process or a daily routine? Everyone is different in their wants, needs, and daily life. Therefore the consistency plan will be different as well. Consistency does not have to always be present in ones life. We are human after all.

Consistency for me is like making a plan of what I am doing for the week and then making strategies on like when I should go to bed, what I will eat for lunch at work and any of the smaller things that need to be addressed for me to make it through my week. Now I do not always follow through with this, I am human. I struggle with saying no. I tend to take on to much at a time and stress myself out. If you know about your weaknesses you should have a plan for if something goes wrong. My best friend will tell me to go take a nap if I am too stressed out and tired. My best friend and I will sometimes spend time together and talk about things that went on. I often spend time with my dogs when I feel overwhelmed.

Make a plan that works best for you. Do your best to attempt this great thing called consistency. Have faith and courage through the tough times and the good times. Remember it is not only about the destination, but the journey.

Sincerely,

*This Girl*

October 25, 2019 0

Patience

Patience is one of the key forms of learning and growing in our society. Yet it seems to me as if it is rarely used.

Patience is something we grow accustomed to if we live in the right environment. Otherwise, we tend to learn it the hard way.

Patience is a character trait that we use in our everyday lives. Kids use it to wait for food, attention, movie previews etc. Adults use it as we wait in line for things similar to coffee shops and grocery stores. We wait for answers to problems, for a coworker etc.

What are we experiencing when we use this talent called patience? It seems to me that it is a moment in time where everything seems to go in slow-mo or stop completely. For some of us that is gonna be the only moment in our day that we will genuinely stop.

What would happen if we all gave ourselves that 5 min break when things get stressful. It seems to me that we would be able to think things over, maybe even come back with a strategy to overcome our problems.

What could be conquered or accomplished if we would make ourselves take time in the evening to pray and meditate on the word of God. A moment to clear our minds and refocus on our priorities.

What a wonderful thought. If only we had the discipline to stop ourselves long enough to accomplish that. We are all capable of practicing patience. With ourselves and others. Naturally having patience is a gift from God. Very few of us naturally have this gift. My sister has the gift. She has patience and love that never seems to end.

Patience is power, Patience is not an absence of action; rather it is “timing” it waits on the right time to act for the right principles and in the right way.

Sincerely,

*This Girl*

October 24, 2019 0