Emotions, what a double edge sword these dreadful yet wonderful things are, tearing you heart and soul one way and then another. My heart aches at the thought of all the directions my emotions try to take me in just one way.

Love has probably become the most used and least meaningful of all of the emotions I can think of. Have you ever felt like you fell for someone, just to realize you only like a couple characteristics and now you have to try to explain your actions towards that person? Have your ever said I love you back to a person knowing you did not fully mean it? The 1828 dictionary says that love is… “In a general sense to be pleased with; to regard with affection, on account of some qualities which excite pleasing sensations or desire of gratification.” Have you ever had to fight your emotions just to have a decent response to what someone says to you? Do you not want to scream sometimes as you pull on your hair for the mere stress ones emotions can create in an instant?

If you have felt any or even all of those, I guess the next question is… “have you ever had a good experience with your emotions?” The light airy feeling of satisfaction when someone you care about holds you close. That sense of pride that builds when you accomplish something our you are given a compliment?

Emotions are meant to build us up and help us through life, not tear us down and make us feel like old miserable souls. Emotions are tools in our tool box and must be handled as such. Not to be followed without a second thought or trusted off of a whim. But to be used when needed, and only then. Emotions are tools we use to express ourselves, not to manipulate them into giving us what we want. Emotions are a gift and should be respected.

Emotions remind me of fire. They have to be treated with care, respected and understood to be helpful to us. If not they just burn everything that holds any value to us; our relationships, family, coworkers the list goes on.

The bible talks about our hearts being desperately wicked. I believe mine is, but I also believe that my emotions help the heart in the way it goes whenever possible which is why we must know how to use them. If our emotions did not drive our hearts why else would we pine for people that are not ours, get frustrated when things do not go the way we envisioned them, do things that we would not normally do in a right frame of mind? Is it because you are not fasting and praying? Do you not know yourself or your emotions enough to control or restrain yourself from acting out? Or possibly for some other reason? This is something you will have to reason to yourself.

To have your emotions under control and held with a tight leash is something to be learned, practiced, and understood. It is a talent, some of us must work on it. It has taken me much learning to be able to bridle my emotions and still tackle every day life without being callused and rude to those your brush me wrong. You must still be kind, loving, understanding, empathetic, and generous with time when practicing this skill. But I believe you will master anything you put your mind to.

The bible says anything is possible through Christ Jesus, Amen. May you believe and be free.


*This Girl*

The Clay

Our lives with God have off and on been equated to a potter and his clay. I use to wonder and struggle about this analogy. I knew what I was told it meant, but at the same time, “What did it mean to me?” What a thought provoking question… you see I truly believe I have only recently made some sort of connection that could at all render me an answer, so I would like to share my thoughts on this subject with you. If you do not mind that is.

I have recently been struggling with some things. Some work related, some home related, others are related to me and my walk with the Father. I have inadvertently realized how wrong we are as humans. You know how you know something in your head, but you do not know it in your heart (the true meaning that is). Yeah, that is how I felt when I realized the answer. This is something I will endeavor to explain but truly, God will have to revel it to you on your own time.

You see, I work with people who have been abused or abandoned in some shape form or fashion. As a matter of fact I have worked with these people for going on two years. The people I work with are people who either did not fit in the normal program of things or felt a connection to the people we care for in some shape, form or fashion. I have been trained to handle almost any given situation, but you cannot train the soul and spirit for the reality that hits you eventually.

Some of the things I realized is that we address people with such malice, wether intended or not we do. We decide we are right and they need to hear what we have to say or that whatever they are doing is not up to our standards and they must be dealt with. We even have the cold shoulder people who think that either what they have to say is too much for someone or that the person they should address is not worth their time. How shameful we are to be so rude to one another.

I have realized that my relationship with people or lack thereof, 9 times out of 10 is my fault. Most of the time I do not even mean what people perceive and assume. I have been told I am too hard on people, too black and white as others have put it. But it is time to call the kettle what it is “Black”. It is time to point to the real problem “Us”

God has been putting me through these very painful lessons and I will share some of them with you today.

  • Respect of persons
  • When to say no
  • Gluttony of something other than food
  • It is okay to be alone
  • Do not do it for them

These are only a few examples and letting God change these things about me is leaving me exhausted and concerned for the future because we are creatures of habit and we do not want to leave what we know to be our “Routine” or our “way of living”. It is like a turtle leaving its shell its scary at first, probably even scary until we get into the swing of things.

In respect of persons he is showing me how it is not my job to show someone how they should be. It is not my job to decide who, why, where, what, etc. I am only here to love, speak life and if at all given the chance, lead someone to the Father.

When to say no… when do we decide enough is enough, or rather too much is just that, too much. This one also leads in to the gluttony part of this, where we do not know when to stop. I am working three jobs while helping with my parents and doing church three times a week, the only day I have nothing to do is Sunday, and I do not even see that sometimes. That is a form of gluttony, too much of anything is not good for you.

It is okay to be alone… You do not need to satisfy your emotional needs by the comments and time with others. Learn how to enjoy your own thought process and company. Fine yourself in God and not in others. Because honey, if we do not love who we are, how do we expect others to love us for who we are?

Do not do anything for the fleshly human beings around you. Do not go to that school because they said so, do not wear that color because they said so, the list goes on. Do it because God said so! Do everything because the Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost said to and you will never, ever, go wrong. Paul says I went right and He told me to go left, I went left and He told me to go right. We will make mistakes, own them and then change em.

Do not be afraid of change, the Father has a plan for you and me. Embrace it, love it, live it. Because if you decide you are on this earth to glorify the Father then you will do just that. I pray that whatever God is working in you, you take it whole heartily and run with it. When you cannot run walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but for goodness sake don’t you dare stop moving towards the Father. Do not do what Peter did and look away from Jesus because you will drown. You will drown so fast you won’t know what happened.

I pray that you all gain understanding and not be ignorant, amen. May you all have a blessed evening.


*This Girl*

…Words Will Never Hurt Me.

There is a saying that was said often when I was a kid, I am not sure if they still say it now but it would not surprise me if they did. “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” My Mother was a smart woman and taught me at a very young age that this sentence was probably one of humanities larger lies that they told themselves. It may not look like the words hurt…but they do eventually.

I did not fully realize how much of a lie it was until I was older though. One of those things where we are taught it but never felt it in our hearts and soul. Some of the simplest things that are said hurt. In Proverbs 18:21 it is written “Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.” Yes, both sides eat the fruit thereof. The people that say it, and the people that are spoken to. It comes back to haunt us like the terrible truth.

I have realized that kids and adults are very much the same, we all needed to be built up and not torn down. We need words of encouragement, not of belittling things. In the bible it is also written Luke 6:31 “And as we would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise.” If you desire it not to be said or done to you then do not I beg of you, do unto another that thing.

I know this is hard, trust me; I completely empathize with you on this. It is for the greater good when we all get a handle on this. My mother used to tell me “If you can’t say something nice do not say anything at all.” Now that I am older I truly believe that those are words to stand and live by to the greatest of our ability.

May God bless you and keep you all well, Amen.


*This Girl*

New Years

All of those New Years resolutions, what a bust right? Everyone making promises me and my ancestors know they will not keep, most of these people won’t remember the promises they made because they made them when they were drinking or they were just flat out lying. Now I know, you are probably reading this going…”okay”…”we get it”…”so what is your New Years resolution, I mean sense you’r making a stink about it you must have one right?”

Okay, fine, you got me. I do have plans, hopes and possibly of list of things I am going to get done on what would happen to be the new year. But it is just like birthdays and Christmas, why do we wait till then to do when we could be doing it all year. Why make goals now when we could have been making them and actually getting stuff done. As you can probably tell I really do not have the greatest amount of patience when I am attempting to accomplish something. I see an end goal, a light at the end of the tunnel, the cauldron and the end of the rainbow, something. I do not care if I have to fight the little guy guarding the gold pot it is mine.

I actually have a goal for all of you, I am determined to fufill it this New Year, and not because it is the New Year but because it gives me a visual deadline. I ask of you and me to declutter the extra in our lives that is causing us stress and unhappiness. I do not care if it is a closet issue, a “I’m in the wrong crowd” issue or if it is something like me where I have two many jobs. I want to please everyone and be what everyone else wants me to be. I want to be helpful and to be a part of everything that I am actually missing something. I am terrified that what I might be missing is my true calling from God. That is scary friend, do not let life and YOUR choices make you miss the one important and only reason we are even in existence and on this planet. You will be held accountable, WE will be held accountable for what we did not do.

I do not want to miss a blessing from my Father so I will do my best to do what I should do. I am still seeking answers, but if my worst fears are right, this year will be very hard on my flesh. Pray for me brothers and sisters as I will pray for you to have the courage to do the same. The devil comes in various ways, sometimes too appeal to our glutinous self, selfish self, prideful self, oh our sinful flesh why be so a burden!

Our Father sent his son to die on the cross for our sins. John 3:16

May this all be our New Years and Forever resolution, to be our true selves in God, never stopping him from making changes to us no matter the pain. Hallelujah, Amen.

Sincerely and with the greatest respect yours truly,

*This Girl*

P.S. May we be grateful for the little things God has given us, just as I am grateful for that tiny glow stick I had that cold dark winter new years night of exactly 1 yr ago amen.

Simple Life

This is something I have struggled with for a very long time. Being satisfied doing nothing at all. Owning just what you need and enjoying the simple things. Being happy with yourself is accepting your personality, characteristics, minor character flaws and everything other crazy thing about ourselves. To do this we have to learn how we tick so that we can work to adjust things we are not very fond of about ourselves.

Example: I struggle keeping a room clean.

Solutions I made for myself:

  • Setting a specific time/date to clean
  • Donate what I do not need
  • Organize (label everything)
  • Get rid of any hole you could shove stuff into

You see that there is what I had to do for myself. I am still perfecting it, and that is okay. First thing you should do is prioritize. My list changes regularly or I have one for each different thing.

Example: To Do

  • Clean up your space before winter break
  • Finish knitting pa’s socks
  • Go through closet and donate stuff
  • Set up water fountain

Example: Daily Routine

  • Monday – Get up @ 6:30am, take dog out and start car @ 7:00am, Leave for work @ 7:15, work from 7:15am-3:15pm, feed dogs @ 4:00pm, dinner @ 6:00pm, etc.

Do you see where I am going with this? If making lists makes your life easier then do it. But remember, to live simply we must also have down time. Down time is when we reflect on ones self. Some people go and do the things they love, others read a book, some people may take evening naps, I enjoy spending time with someone I care about.

Know when to say no. Enough is just that, enough. It took me a long time to know when to say that. Your job is not worth it if your dying of stress. You cannot be there for your family if you work 12 hrs a day. Give what you can of yourself but no more. Your family needs you, your kids need you, your friends need you, and God put you on this earth for a reason. So just relax.

God says…

Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment? Mathew 6:25-34

As I get older I find that certain things no longer matter to me or some things seem to be just a solid waste of time. For those of you who know me you will remember in one of my earlier posts I told you that I am a multiple. Well, in being a multiple you tend to spend all of your time with the people that are just like you, or so you think they are just like you. I have spent my whole life living in the same room as one or both of my siblings, letting them pick the decor, what we did during the day, what they thought I looked cute wearing, the list goes on. I was scared to move out of just the bedroom I shared. Scared to find out who I was without them, not who WE are but who I am (without them).

Recently I was convicted by God to move into my own space. I sought guidance on what that looked like. It took awhile to find an answer. I didn’t know if he wanted me to get my own house, an apartment, a trailer for the backyard or what. My mother could tell that I was really struggling with this and she set up some space for me on the pull out couch in our shared art room. I have been living in that room ever sense. Honestly, I am much happier. I have found out things about myself that I had totally forgotten or failed to do. I love listening to my vinyls on my record table. I enjoy reading old english literature. I enjoy typing with my typewriter or writing with my ink pen. I enjoy sitting on my bed and knitting my socks while jazz music is playing and coffee is on the in-table. I like having my dog around, he now sleeps in my room every night.

I have learned to relax and enjoy what is going on around me. To treasure time spent with family. What I do and do not like. These are things we should all take time and learn about ourselves.

“Doing nothing always leads to the best of something.” Pooh Bear

Let me know if there is anything you would like me to write about next. Contact me if you have any questions or concerns.


*This Girl*

World and Spirit

I had a conversation one time with a good friend of mine. We were trying to talk about levels of sin or rather if there were levels, maybe they were all just as bad as the other. We never got to finish this conversation, but if I could finish that conversation; what I am about to tell you is what I would tell him.

We spend so much of our day trying to compare our current world to the spiritual realm. It does not work. The bible says “flesh warreth against the Spirit.” We try to use things that we can sense with our 5 senses to explain things that cannot be sensed by anything other than the Spirit of God. We equate christianity to things like “Pilgrims Progress” and “Narnia”. We try to describe God as if he is some sort of fleshly king on a throne of gold. He has never even shown his face to anyone less they parish. Even Moses only saw his hind quarters in Exodus 33:17-23 it says…

” And the Lord said unto Moses, I will do this thing also that thou hast spoken: for thou hast found grace in my sight, and I know thee by name. And he said, I beseech thee, shew me thy glory. And he said, I will make all my goodness pass before thee, and I will proclaim the name of the Lord before thee; and will be gracious to whom I will shew mercy. And he said, Thou canst not see my face: for there shall no man see me, and live. And the Lord said, Behold, there is a place by me, and thou shalt stand upon a rock: And it shall come to pass, while my glory passeth by, that I will put thee in a clift of the rock, and will cover thee with my hand while I pass by: And I will take away mine hand, and thou shalt see my back parts: but my face shall not be seen.”

Spiritually, there are no levels to sin. In that scripture alone it talks about rebellion (which is just doing other then what you have been told) is just as bad as witchcraft or that being stubborn is just as bad as idolatry (which is not being faithful to your spouse). God says in 1 Samuel 15: 23… “For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry. Because thou hast rejected the word of the Lord, he hath also rejected thee from being king.” Worldly, or in the flesh if you prefer there are levels, which is why certain crimes earn you jail and other crimes you just earn a ticket. My friend told me that you could tell there were levels of sin based on the fact that there are multiple consequences. Here on earth we have things like jail, torture, getting a ticket, in old times we had hangings etc. But in the spirit world I realized Hell is the only definite punishment. Sure on earth they have things happen like God taking out Sodom and Gomorrah with fire and brimstone (Genesis 19:24-25) or Ananias and his wife ( Acts 5:1-11)who passed away in the church for lying to the man of God. But those happened on earth, they were consequences for our own choices. Whereas the end consequence in the spirit realm is Hell.

Notice that when he compares the sins that are mentioned in 1 Samuel that the two sins are normally not related to each other and completely opposite in there worldly degrees of right and wrong.

Here are some more scriptures that might stand out and assist us in this thought process.

“For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience. Be not ye therefore partakers with them.” Ephesians 5:5-7

“When Christ, who is our life, shall appear, then shall ye also appear with him in glory. Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry: For which things’ sake the wrath of God cometh on the children of disobedience:” Colossians 3:4-6

Some things we cannot just understand naturally without Gods Spirit showing it to us. Even then, some things are not meant for everyone.


*This Girl*

Obedience is Better Than Sacrifice

The statement “obedience is better than sacrifice” is true, for some of us it is hard to understand. I wish to shed light on this, hopefully it makes sense.

In the bible it says this…

22 And Samuel said, Hath the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the Lord? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams.

23 For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry. Because thou hast rejected the word of the Lord, he hath also rejected thee from being king.

You see, this is in 1 Samuel chapter 15. In this chapter it is talking about the time that Saul was sent to go destroy the Amalekites, cattle and all. Saul did not do what was commanded of him, he was afraid of the people. So he let the people keep the cattle to use as sacrifices unto God and brought the King back alive instead of following Gods specific instructions…

Thus saith the Lord of hosts, I remember that which Amalek did to Israel, how he laid wait for him in the way, when he came up from Egypt.

Now go and smite Amalek, and utterly destroy all that they have, and spare them not; but slay both man and woman, infant and suckling, ox and sheep, camel and ass.

In the sentences above it says.. “…rebellion is the sin of witchcraft…stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry…” Meaning that as far as sin goes rebellion = witchcraft and stubbornness = iniquity and idolatry. Showing us that there really is no degree or level to sin, but that is a totally different topic.

Even God says it is better to be obedient than to sacrifice. A live example of obedience that I have for you is one time when I was in church with my family. I was still fairly young at the time but God gave my mother a word for another mother. Now my Mother was afraid to tell this other much bigger in stature ( and pretty scary in my eyes) mother what the Lord had to say to her. Now another woman of God who was not standing to far away turned to my mother and said these words… “It really is better to be obedient.” My mother stood there shocked that this other woman of God said that. It was as if that lady was in her mind. That woman of God had to say it again… “It really is better to be obedient.” My mother finally did what was asked of her.

Here is another example. Now I know that I am going to get a lot of people disagreeing with me and that is okay. But I will say what I am supposed to say. I had this conversation with a very good friend of mine one time and some times I wonder if he thinks about this conversation, because I do. We were talking about a lot of different things and we got on the topic of holiday and their origins. We both knew that the origins of most holidays have nothing to do with God or Jesus’s birth. Yes, including Christmas. actually God knew what we were going to do so much that he told us in scripture not to do it… Jeremiah chapter 10

10 Hear ye the word which the Lord speaketh unto you, O house of Israel:

Thus saith the Lord, Learn not the way of the heathen, and be not dismayed at the signs of heaven; for the heathen are dismayed at them.

For the customs of the people are vain: for one cutteth a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman, with the axe.

They deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not.

They are upright as the palm tree, but speak not: they must needs be borne, because they cannot go. Be not afraid of them; for they cannot do evil, neither also is it in them to do good.

Forasmuch as there is none like unto thee, O Lord; thou art great, and thy name is great in might.

Who would not fear thee, O King of nations? for to thee doth it appertain: forasmuch as among all the wise men of the nations, and in all their kingdoms, there is none like unto thee.

But they are altogether brutish and foolish: the stock is a doctrine of vanities.

Silver spread into plates is brought from Tarshish, and gold from Uphaz, the work of the workman, and of the hands of the founder: blue and purple is their clothing: they are all the work of cunning men.

10 But the Lord is the true God, he is the living God, and an everlasting king: at his wrath the earth shall tremble, and the nations shall not be able to abide his indignation.

11 Thus shall ye say unto them, The gods that have not made the heavens and the earth, even they shall perish from the earth, and from under these heavens.

12 He hath made the earth by his power, he hath established the world by his wisdom, and hath stretched out the heavens by his discretion.

13 When he uttereth his voice, there is a multitude of waters in the heavens, and he causeth the vapours to ascend from the ends of the earth; he maketh lightnings with rain, and bringeth forth the wind out of his treasures.

14 Every man is brutish in his knowledge: every founder is confounded by the graven image: for his molten image is falsehood, and there is no breath in them.

15 They are vanity, and the work of errors: in the time of their visitation they shall perish.

16 The portion of Jacob is not like them: for he is the former of all things; and Israel is the rod of his inheritance: The Lord of hosts is his name.

17 Gather up thy wares out of the land, O inhabitant of the fortress.

18 For thus saith the Lord, Behold, I will sling out the inhabitants of the land at this once, and will distress them, that they may find it so.

19 Woe is me for my hurt! my wound is grievous; but I said, Truly this is a grief, and I must bear it.

20 My tabernacle is spoiled, and all my cords are broken: my children are gone forth of me, and they are not: there is none to stretch forth my tent any more, and to set up my curtains.

21 For the pastors are become brutish, and have not sought the Lord: therefore they shall not prosper, and all their flocks shall be scattered.

22 Behold, the noise of the bruit is come, and a great commotion out of the north country, to make the cities of Judah desolate, and a den of dragons.

23 O Lord, I know that the way of man is not in himself: it is not in man that walketh to direct his steps.

24 O Lord, correct me, but with judgment; not in thine anger, lest thou bring me to nothing.

25 Pour out thy fury upon the heathen that know thee not, and upon the families that call not on thy name: for they have eaten up Jacob, and devoured him, and consumed him, and have made his habitation desolate.

This chapter specifically talks about how we did the trees before the fake trees came to be. It also talks about not doing as the heathen do and that their customs are vain. in verse 10 it talks about Gods wrath and that the nations shall not abide by this indignation. God makes it very clear that he does not like this whatsoever and yet we as Christians say we are doing Christmas in the name of the Lord just like Saul’s followers were keeping to cattle to sacrifice in the name of the Lord.

If this does not help you then hear this…

I found this small bit of information on a site called whychristmas…

“The Roman Festival of Saturnalia took place between December 17th and 23rd and honoured the Roman god Saturn. Dies Natalis Solis Invicti means ‘birthday of the unconquered sun’ and was held on December 25th (when the Romans thought the Winter Solstice took place) and was the ‘birthday’ of the Pagan Sun god Mithra. In the pagan religion of Mithraism, the holy day was Sunday and is where get that word from!”

There it is telling us that the original holiday on Dec. 25 was celebrating the sun god’s birth not Christ’s birth. There is a reason why God did not tell us his sons birth. I told my friend that we are supposed to be giving God the purest things only. So why would we take a holiday that was for a false god and say that we are celebrating it in Gods name when He never set it up or commanded us to? In the verses above it even tells us not to do most if not all of the traditions we do when celebrating Christmas.

If you want to look up more information you should type into your search engine “origin of December 25th” If you put in origin of Christmas it will tell you about how Santa came to be and other related stuff instead of how the actual holiday came to be.

This is my opinion, if you do not agree that is fine. But once we know this information I truly believe that we are heald accountable for it and what we do with it after today.

Thank you to those of you who stuck out to read this whole thing and may you have a blessed rest of your day, Amen.


*This Girl*


Being thankful is something we can feel from the bottom of our hearts. It gives us a sense of joy that compels us to do small acts of kindness.

Being thankful this Thanksgiving is not about blessing the food you bought or took hours of your day to make. It is about being thankful for what we have and praising God for all of the small and big blessings he sees fit to give us.

I praise God for my family, the family that is with me today and the family that is not. I am thankful for all of the brothers and sisters in Christ God has given to me. I am thankful for all of my coworkers at all of my jobs. I am thankful for having a job, a house, a vehicle to get around in and a bed to sleep in. I am thankful for the animals and children God has put under my care. I am thankful for the money and the ability to cook the meal that my family will be sharing.

I pray that all day the Father hears prayers from all over the world praising him for his greatness and thanking him for what he has given and done for us.

I pray for all the people who do not get to celebrate today with there families. I pray for all of the EMS personnel, military, truckers, store/retail workers, slope workers etc. I pray for y’alls safe return home. May we be thankful for all we have, not wanting more but being content with what we do have, amen.


*This Girl*

We Can’t Change It

It does not matter what we do. What we have in the now we can not change. The past is the past and we can only change the outcome. “We must run from it!” some say, “We must avoid it.” say others, “We must fight it!” they say, “We must sleep it off.” says the rest. One small still voice says “Deal with it.”

Oh, what a struggle and a burden this must be! Here, let me give you some examples. Then I will present you with solutions.

“I do not like what my partner did to me, but I do not want them to leave. So I will just act like it does not matter to me.” “I do not like that my parents chose to move without even asking me my opinion, maybe if I run away they will understand the damage they have done to me.” “I do not understand why my coworkers are so cold to me, but I do not want to make it worse so I will just avoid.” “Their ex just told me that I am incompetent and undeserving of our friendship, I must defend!” “I wish to no longer care for what is happening in the world, I feel depressed. I guess sleeping will make it better.” “They all say I will never do better, they will see that making a statement like that will not hold me down no matter how many agree. I will succeed!” All of these are statements are examples of beginning stages of issues that can be dealt with right where these thoughts begin. The last statement is a strong positive frame of mind. Tackling your issues head on while letting other think what they think.

I have met people before and after difficult struggles similar to the ones described above. Here are some tips on how to handle things and avoid most of the responses shown above.

  • If we run from it then we will never be rid of this problem, it will surely follow us and cause us great grief. You must stop, discuss with the person or people who are causing your grief. If this does not work for your situation then I highly suggest prayer. But do not disregard the discussion part of this suggestion. So much happens when you are honest on how you feel. Statements such as… “that makes me feel uncomfortable.” “I do not understand why ___” “I am really struggling with ___” “I fight to understand ___”. If you struggle with prayer write your prayers down on paper or in a pad. I had to start doing that because I have a wondering mind. Writing my prayers down really helped me focus on what I was asking God so that I could be more specific, because I desired a specific and focused response.
  • Do not avoid the problem. Just because we ignore it, does not make its existence void. It will quietly follow us around like our shadows on a bright sunny day. Waiting to ruin our optimistic thoughts and hopes of freedom. Face it head on, even if you are afraid of it. Nothing will be fixed in avoidance.
  • Nothing is repaired where violence resides. Violence makes the devil happy. Certain situations may require self defense. But to so decisively start a fight over something that could be disregarded or discussed in an elegant graceful set of gallant words is a crime to me.
  • Do not sleep your issues off. Depression can come from choosing many of the above pathways, including this discussed pathway. Over sleeping is also not good for you and can cause you to have more problems.

I hope these words were encouraging and helpful to you. I challenge you to take on one of your issues today and make the best out of it. May God strengthen you in the walk He has set before you, Amen.


*This Girl*

18 Inches

I have heard this sense I was a young girl… that we could miss heaven by 18 inches. That statement means that we could miss heaven because we hold all of Gods knowledge in our mind, never transferring it to our hearts. This is a really hard thought process to comprehend. If you have never accomplished this before then this will be interesting and possibly hold merit for you. I have heard that saying most of my life and only recently discovered the meaning to it. It was a burden lifted once the Father showed me how to do it. So now, I will do my best to convey how to do this wonderful thing to you.

Everything that holds weight or meaning to us we hold dear in our hearts. Anything we read and repeat verbally is held dear in our minds. All of the things we do is either a mindset or a heart condition. Our job is to transfer what is a mindset into a heart condition. In doing this we must decide that it is important beyond reason. So important that we are willing to pass our pride and honor to do it.

One of my biggest mind sets that I had to change into a heart condition was how I felt about my brother. I had a lot of pent up envy and jealousy within me. I felt that my father cared about him more due to spending all of his time with him, especially as we all got older. But none of this mattered, it was not my brothers fault that I felt this way. He was not the cause of how I personally felt; I came to that decision or realization. I have (for the past year or so) spent all of my time and energy trying to make it better with my own actions and works. “I” tried to make it better, it was all “I”, “I”, “I”. Well, that was my first issue. “I” could not make it better…”I” had to give it up. I had to give it to the Father. Not only did I have to give it up but I had to make a decision… a heart felt decision to do what my Father has asked.

“Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good. Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;” Romans 12:9-10

This is what you will have to do.

  • Pray, you have to be in continual prayer ready and willing to do what the Father will ask you. This may be hard, I have faith in you to carry out this task.
  • Pick one thing that you struggle with and pray hard, diligently pray for the Father to teach you how to take things from a mind set and change it into a heart condition. Pray that he takes the burdens from you and shows you what you need to do in the bible to make it right. Whether it be apologizing or something else.
  • Be willing to make the change. Many people say ” Oh yeah, I will do anything for you Lord.” Their hearts are not in their statements and prayers; they will answer for their crimes in heaven. Do what you have to do, this is a battle for our souls. Make it known to your Father your stance for his kingdom!
  • Accept the answer to your question. Many of us turn into Gideon where he was flipping the fleece trying to get a different answer. On one hand you will do what God says, on the other you are really hoping that he is not saying what you are hearing. Do not fight the spirit, do it!

I pray that this information made sense to you and is helpful in your journey. If you still have questions you can contact me or pray really hard about it and accept the Fathers answer.

May the Father lead you in the way that you must go, Amen.


*This Girl*

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