It does not matter what we do. What we have in the now we can not change. The past is the past and we can only change the outcome. “We must run from it!” some say, “We must avoid it.” say others, “We must fight it!” they say, “We must sleep it off.” says the rest. One small still voice says “Deal with it.”
Oh, what a struggle and a burden this must be! Here, let me give you some examples. Then I will present you with solutions.
“I do not like what my partner did to me, but I do not want them to leave. So I will just act like it does not matter to me.” “I do not like that my parents chose to move without even asking me my opinion, maybe if I run away they will understand the damage they have done to me.” “I do not understand why my coworkers are so cold to me, but I do not want to make it worse so I will just avoid.” “Their ex just told me that I am incompetent and undeserving of our friendship, I must defend!” “I wish to no longer care for what is happening in the world, I feel depressed. I guess sleeping will make it better.” “They all say I will never do better, they will see that making a statement like that will not hold me down no matter how many agree. I will succeed!” All of these are statements are examples of beginning stages of issues that can be dealt with right where these thoughts begin. The last statement is a strong positive frame of mind. Tackling your issues head on while letting other think what they think.
I have met people before and after difficult struggles similar to the ones described above. Here are some tips on how to handle things and avoid most of the responses shown above.
- If we run from it then we will never be rid of this problem, it will surely follow us and cause us great grief. You must stop, discuss with the person or people who are causing your grief. If this does not work for your situation then I highly suggest prayer. But do not disregard the discussion part of this suggestion. So much happens when you are honest on how you feel. Statements such as… “that makes me feel uncomfortable.” “I do not understand why ___” “I am really struggling with ___” “I fight to understand ___”. If you struggle with prayer write your prayers down on paper or in a pad. I had to start doing that because I have a wondering mind. Writing my prayers down really helped me focus on what I was asking God so that I could be more specific, because I desired a specific and focused response.
- Do not avoid the problem. Just because we ignore it, does not make its existence void. It will quietly follow us around like our shadows on a bright sunny day. Waiting to ruin our optimistic thoughts and hopes of freedom. Face it head on, even if you are afraid of it. Nothing will be fixed in avoidance.
- Nothing is repaired where violence resides. Violence makes the devil happy. Certain situations may require self defense. But to so decisively start a fight over something that could be disregarded or discussed in an elegant graceful set of gallant words is a crime to me.
- Do not sleep your issues off. Depression can come from choosing many of the above pathways, including this discussed pathway. Over sleeping is also not good for you and can cause you to have more problems.
I hope these words were encouraging and helpful to you. I challenge you to take on one of your issues today and make the best out of it. May God strengthen you in the walk He has set before you, Amen.