Listen

Listening is a skill that must be practiced often, everyday and at any moment possible. Friendships and relationships thrive off of active listening to each other. I know you might be thinking it, what is the difference between just listening and active listening. Active listening is when you are looking at the person actively tracking their thought process and listening to their reasoning with genuine interest. Just listening could be listening to someone while you are drawing, listening without caring because what they are saying does not pertain to you etc.

How do you feel when someone is listening to you? They listen to the point that they remember weeks later what you said, and start conversations while bringing up what you both had talked about at an earlier date. It is a good feeling no? Realizing that someone cares to the point that they can tell you what you had said. That is one of the best feelings I have ever had. I do not know many people who actively listen, I could probably name off a few that actively listen consistently and then a few people who do it off and on.

Actively listening helps builds relationships. Makes people think that you actually care about them. That you actually hold them in your mind as important. There is a sense of security that comes along with it. A faith that can not be explained when you build a relationship off of honesty, active listening, and faith in the other individual.

Yes, active listening is hard. It takes time and practice to be efficient at it. Just remind yourself when you are having a conversation that what the other person is saying matters, the person matters, and because the person matters so does what they say.

I love meeting a good listener. Talking to them is so refreshing. Your conversations are filled with each other understanding one another, where they are coming from and their thought process. I enjoy conversations that talk about future goals, beliefs, morals, hobbies and likes such as favorite color, animal, music etc.

I hope this helps you in your quest for understanding. Have a wonderfully blessed day!

Sincerely,

*This Girl*

October 29, 2019 1

Choose Your Battles

This is a lesson my mother attempted to teach me sense I was very young. When she told me to choose my battles she was telling me that I needed to decide what was worth fighting or arguing over. My dad never called it fighting he always called it a heated debate. No matter what you call it, it is still not edifying to yourself or the other people engaged in the discussion.

Something else I was told was “do not spend more than five minutes fuming over something that will not matter in the next five years. ” If it does not matter in the future do not worry about it. Something else to keep in mind is that you need to get to know yourself and how you react to things. This information is a vital key to figure out how to handle things. Here is an example, I know that I get really frustrated when I find out that the people I had asked to feed the family dogs for the morning or evening did not do it. Because I know this I will ask the person that was assigned it later on in the day if they actually fed these said dogs. Before I ask them I will converse with myself and decide that it is okay if they did not get to it and that maybe they had something urgent that came up and were not able to do it. My real life conversation with myself is a lot longer and it takes a lot more convincing than I am showing you but I kept it simple for you. Having these conversations with myself really do help me.

Another idea is to constantly think happy thoughts. Why you like the person? What could have gone wrong to prevent them from acting appropriately? How can I help them be better? These are questions that you can ask yourself to help you see things in a different perspective. Now am I expecting you to be able to walk away from this post and fully understand what I am saying? No, absolutely not. We are all still human and live in sin. Ask God in the morning during your prayer time for the strength, patience and understanding to conquer the day.

Other simple things you could do is remember to breath, constantly ask yourself questions, remove yourself from the situation temporarily with respect towards the other person, and count backwards. You might be asking “how can those things possibly help me?” Well, let me explain these suggestions.

Breath: Remember to breath. So many people get frustrated and angry that they either forget to breath all together or they are randomly holding there breath imagining that they are holding in there anger. (it doesn’t do what you think it does) Holding your breath makes you more upset because all you are concentrating on is your incredible dislike for the situation. So instead I suggest taking deep breaths while imagining letting go of your anger. Remember two wrongs do not make a right. Do not fight fire with fire. If you show kindness and respect to the person your frustrated with you can normally change the atmosphere of the situation.

Constantly ask questions: I do this so that I am constantly giving myself another perspective. As an example: you are frustrated with your partner/sibling/friend because they did not wash the dinner dishes Wednesday night and it was their turn, so you had to do it. When you think on the situation we want to ask these questions. What happened to make it where they were incapable of doing the dishes? Why were the dishes not done? Are they okay? Did something happen early that day or sometime else in the week? Always ask questions.

Remove yourself with respect towards the other person: Sometimes we need to tap out of a situation. This is something you will have to learn about yourself. You need to tap out before everything gets to heated. Let’s say you and your spouse are having an argument of when your child needs to go to bed. You are trying to listen and be understanding but all you can hear in your head is your reasoning and why you think you are right. You need to say something similar to this because we need to remove ourselves from the situation with respect towards the other person,”You know I really want to continue this conversation, but I am really frustrated with this whole situation, I just need a break and then we can continue this conversation.” Make yourself come back to the conversation after about 5 min. Do not wait till the next day. This coping skill is not for you to abuse and try to put your problems behind you. This coping skill is to help you teach yourself how to handle situations while still respecting the other persons space and thought process.

Count backwards: Counting backwards might sound silly, even for adults. Some people count backwards from 5 some from 15 and others from 30. I would not count backwards from a number bigger than 30 because then you are avoiding the situation. Counting backwards is a commitment because once you hit zero your act better be together. Counting backwards rewires your thought process, calms you down and makes you breath while focusing on one task and not eighty different tasks.

Remember this will all take practice and time. No one is perfect. These are all lessons we could all use in our daily life. You might be asking why I am teaching you to deal with your situations rather than how to avoid them. Well, I do not believe in avoiding. Avoiding situations cause unhealthy relationships because nothing is ever figured out and your constantly frustrated with someone. This post is to hopefully help you deal with your frustrations and difficulties.

Now use this knowledge for good and be great. I have faith in you.

Sincerely,

*This Girl*

October 28, 2019 0

Imagination

How do we benefit from such a thing as imagination? What creates it? What could possibly drive such a powerful thing as imagination? I wish to convey to you my thoughts and feelings on this subject. This subject has always caused me to be in wonder and constant consideration of how things start and go. Even our dreams and nightmares can be made from strictly imagination. I had a fellow coworker tell me one time that our brains are like fish in the sea. Our brains have to be working constantly just like certain fish cannot stop swimming otherwise they will die. Which is why we dream at night.

For generations we have been told that imagination is useless, a waist of space and that we need to get practical. Even in schools we were all taught to be in assembly lines and to do things in time frames. We are given about four minutes to get to the next class period at school while constantly being asked what we are up to.

What happens when we leave Elementary? We stop drawing, no longer playing pretend. The small happy moments of mild satisfaction now fill our hearts with discontentment because we are constantly told to act in a way that is out of our character or to be something that we are not. We stop thinking outside of the present into the future and up in the clouds. Kids tell me what they want to be, but how it is not possible for them to do it. Saying “it will never be accomplished I might as well give up now than be disappointed later. Even adults say what they had wished they had done in there earlier years and what regrets they carry around today like burdens.

Imagination is what helps us create things. It is the pivotal point in history when our brain makes a connection from the imaginary to the reality. The thought of having light whenever we want could have been the original idea to create a light bulb.

Sometimes we use our imagination in our everyday lives without even knowing it. Like playing a scenario over and over again in our minds thinking about how it could have turned out differently. Deciding if you stay in the traffic lane you are in or if you move to the next one would you progress faster through traffic? What would happen if we ate just one more cookie. What would happen if we could willingly and consciously tap into that resource. Oh! all of the things we could accomplish!

I wish there was a way to encourage people to use their imagination. New things get invented, stories get written. Hopes get built and dreams become more vivid and tangible.

I often think about what it would take to get us back to the wide eyes, broad thought process. I miss the wishful thinking. The constant wondering and hoping for better things. The imagination that makes us think of ways out of bad situations, things that we could do better etc.

Imagination helps me when I think about what it would be like to be the best I could be. Sometimes I imagine myself in the future. This may sound silly, but I created a character that resembles something close to how I see myself in the future. What I want to do, how I want to treat people, how I see my career and future. It is a great thing to imagine these things. Makes you consider other options and routes.

Maybe if we all did that we would be setting up for ourselves a visual goal. A thought out plan full of hope. Maybe if we were willing to see things in a different light or accept things out of the box God would not have such a hard time showing us what he has for us because we are already accepting of the unknown.

I am interested to hear who else uses there imagination on a daily basis and how.

Sincerely,

*This Girl*

October 27, 2019 0

Consistency

When I think of consistency it reminds me of an attribute we use when we cook or bake something over and over again. It also reminds me about parenting, teaching even learning in our everyday lives.

I hear the word consistency often at my current job. I work for the school district with young people who require a more obvious schedule, structured learning and so forth. One of the teachers asked me when I started working with the children if I could be as consistent as possible. He asked me to be consistent with everything so that the children understood the expectations, reasoning and the why we do what we do.

As I have thought about this more I realized that my kids were not the only ones who needed consistency, I needed it as well. I needed to be consistent on what time I got up in the morning, when I feed the animals. When I did my paperwork. I had to be consistent on giving myself breaks, relax and contemplate on what happened in my day and any possible changes to it I could have made.

How do you utilize consistency in your life? Is it a thought process or a daily routine? Everyone is different in their wants, needs, and daily life. Therefore the consistency plan will be different as well. Consistency does not have to always be present in ones life. We are human after all.

Consistency for me is like making a plan of what I am doing for the week and then making strategies on like when I should go to bed, what I will eat for lunch at work and any of the smaller things that need to be addressed for me to make it through my week. Now I do not always follow through with this, I am human. I struggle with saying no. I tend to take on to much at a time and stress myself out. If you know about your weaknesses you should have a plan for if something goes wrong. My best friend will tell me to go take a nap if I am too stressed out and tired. My best friend and I will sometimes spend time together and talk about things that went on. I often spend time with my dogs when I feel overwhelmed.

Make a plan that works best for you. Do your best to attempt this great thing called consistency. Have faith and courage through the tough times and the good times. Remember it is not only about the destination, but the journey.

Sincerely,

*This Girl*

October 25, 2019 0

Patience

Patience is one of the key forms of learning and growing in our society. Yet it seems to me as if it is rarely used.

Patience is something we grow accustomed to if we live in the right environment. Otherwise, we tend to learn it the hard way.

Patience is a character trait that we use in our everyday lives. Kids use it to wait for food, attention, movie previews etc. Adults use it as we wait in line for things similar to coffee shops and grocery stores. We wait for answers to problems, for a coworker etc.

What are we experiencing when we use this talent called patience? It seems to me that it is a moment in time where everything seems to go in slow-mo or stop completely. For some of us that is gonna be the only moment in our day that we will genuinely stop.

What would happen if we all gave ourselves that 5 min break when things get stressful. It seems to me that we would be able to think things over, maybe even come back with a strategy to overcome our problems.

What could be conquered or accomplished if we would make ourselves take time in the evening to pray and meditate on the word of God. A moment to clear our minds and refocus on our priorities.

What a wonderful thought. If only we had the discipline to stop ourselves long enough to accomplish that. We are all capable of practicing patience. With ourselves and others. Naturally having patience is a gift from God. Very few of us naturally have this gift. My sister has the gift. She has patience and love that never seems to end.

Patience is power, Patience is not an absence of action; rather it is “timing” it waits on the right time to act for the right principles and in the right way.

Sincerely,

*This Girl*

October 24, 2019 0

Introduction to Myself

Hello,

I have wanted to write to you all for a long time. But I had not figured out how I was going to do it until now.

I want to talk about a few things with you. My conversations will change often so please keep up as I have a lot I want you to know. My topics will discuss things like EMT class problems/solutions, raising dogs, clearing/building on land in Alaska, what it was like moving to AK, and other things I have learned about on my journey through life.

Why am I doing this?

Because it gives you new thoughts and Ideas to contemplate.
Because people like me, wanted answers and could not find them.

My posting might be random and so might my topics. Just like our thoughts that cycle through our brains as we enjoy what life has to offer.

Okay so starting out, here is a few things you should know:

I am blogging publicly so that I can share my thoughts and beliefs with you?
I will be writing about various topics including things I have learned from working with Water Search and Rescue and the School District as well as other things I have mentioned.
I would like to connect with anyone willing to think about what I say. Feel free to comment calmly and politely to any of my posts.
I hope to accomplish many things. One of the main things is to figure out how to work WordPress for my mom lol. 😉

If you would like to talk to me personally I do have an email that you can reach me, thisgirlzlifephotography@gmail.com.

If y’all ever have anything you want me to blog about, let me know. I am very excited to start this journey with you all.

Okay, short summary of me. I am a raised Tx girl who moved to AK about 4-5 yrs ago. Yes, I have now lived in the two largest states in the USA. I am a homeschooled girl who has a passion for working with behavioral kids in the school district and working for EMS as part of Water Search and Rescue. I currently have my Wilderness First Responder cert, NREMT cert and my CPR. I am a triplet who has two older sisters and one younger brother. This blog will be about my life lessons.

I hope you enjoy.

This Girl

June 28, 2019 3

Welcome to my new blog!