understanding – This Girlz Life

Emotions, what a double edge sword these dreadful yet wonderful things are, tearing you heart and soul one way and then another. My heart aches at the thought of all the directions my emotions try to take me in just one way.

Love has probably become the most used and least meaningful of all of the emotions I can think of. Have you ever felt like you fell for someone, just to realize you only like a couple characteristics and now you have to try to explain your actions towards that person? Have your ever said I love you back to a person knowing you did not fully mean it? The 1828 dictionary says that love is… “In a general sense to be pleased with; to regard with affection, on account of some qualities which excite pleasing sensations or desire of gratification.” Have you ever had to fight your emotions just to have a decent response to what someone says to you? Do you not want to scream sometimes as you pull on your hair for the mere stress ones emotions can create in an instant?

If you have felt any or even all of those, I guess the next question is… “have you ever had a good experience with your emotions?” The light airy feeling of satisfaction when someone you care about holds you close. That sense of pride that builds when you accomplish something our you are given a compliment?

Emotions are meant to build us up and help us through life, not tear us down and make us feel like old miserable souls. Emotions are tools in our tool box and must be handled as such. Not to be followed without a second thought or trusted off of a whim. But to be used when needed, and only then. Emotions are tools we use to express ourselves, not to manipulate them into giving us what we want. Emotions are a gift and should be respected.

Emotions remind me of fire. They have to be treated with care, respected and understood to be helpful to us. If not they just burn everything that holds any value to us; our relationships, family, coworkers the list goes on.

The bible talks about our hearts being desperately wicked. I believe mine is, but I also believe that my emotions help the heart in the way it goes whenever possible which is why we must know how to use them. If our emotions did not drive our hearts why else would we pine for people that are not ours, get frustrated when things do not go the way we envisioned them, do things that we would not normally do in a right frame of mind? Is it because you are not fasting and praying? Do you not know yourself or your emotions enough to control or restrain yourself from acting out? Or possibly for some other reason? This is something you will have to reason to yourself.

To have your emotions under control and held with a tight leash is something to be learned, practiced, and understood. It is a talent, some of us must work on it. It has taken me much learning to be able to bridle my emotions and still tackle every day life without being callused and rude to those your brush me wrong. You must still be kind, loving, understanding, empathetic, and generous with time when practicing this skill. But I believe you will master anything you put your mind to.

The bible says anything is possible through Christ Jesus, Amen. May you believe and be free.

Sincerely,

*This Girl*

Listening is a skill that must be practiced often, everyday and at any moment possible. Friendships and relationships thrive off of active listening to each other. I know you might be thinking it, what is the difference between just listening and active listening. Active listening is when you are looking at the person actively tracking their thought process and listening to their reasoning with genuine interest. Just listening could be listening to someone while you are drawing, listening without caring because what they are saying does not pertain to you etc.

How do you feel when someone is listening to you? They listen to the point that they remember weeks later what you said, and start conversations while bringing up what you both had talked about at an earlier date. It is a good feeling no? Realizing that someone cares to the point that they can tell you what you had said. That is one of the best feelings I have ever had. I do not know many people who actively listen, I could probably name off a few that actively listen consistently and then a few people who do it off and on.

Actively listening helps builds relationships. Makes people think that you actually care about them. That you actually hold them in your mind as important. There is a sense of security that comes along with it. A faith that can not be explained when you build a relationship off of honesty, active listening, and faith in the other individual.

Yes, active listening is hard. It takes time and practice to be efficient at it. Just remind yourself when you are having a conversation that what the other person is saying matters, the person matters, and because the person matters so does what they say.

I love meeting a good listener. Talking to them is so refreshing. Your conversations are filled with each other understanding one another, where they are coming from and their thought process. I enjoy conversations that talk about future goals, beliefs, morals, hobbies and likes such as favorite color, animal, music etc.

I hope this helps you in your quest for understanding. Have a wonderfully blessed day!

Sincerely,

*This Girl*