friendship – This Girlz Life

Listening is a skill that must be practiced often, everyday and at any moment possible. Friendships and relationships thrive off of active listening to each other. I know you might be thinking it, what is the difference between just listening and active listening. Active listening is when you are looking at the person actively tracking their thought process and listening to their reasoning with genuine interest. Just listening could be listening to someone while you are drawing, listening without caring because what they are saying does not pertain to you etc.

How do you feel when someone is listening to you? They listen to the point that they remember weeks later what you said, and start conversations while bringing up what you both had talked about at an earlier date. It is a good feeling no? Realizing that someone cares to the point that they can tell you what you had said. That is one of the best feelings I have ever had. I do not know many people who actively listen, I could probably name off a few that actively listen consistently and then a few people who do it off and on.

Actively listening helps builds relationships. Makes people think that you actually care about them. That you actually hold them in your mind as important. There is a sense of security that comes along with it. A faith that can not be explained when you build a relationship off of honesty, active listening, and faith in the other individual.

Yes, active listening is hard. It takes time and practice to be efficient at it. Just remind yourself when you are having a conversation that what the other person is saying matters, the person matters, and because the person matters so does what they say.

I love meeting a good listener. Talking to them is so refreshing. Your conversations are filled with each other understanding one another, where they are coming from and their thought process. I enjoy conversations that talk about future goals, beliefs, morals, hobbies and likes such as favorite color, animal, music etc.

I hope this helps you in your quest for understanding. Have a wonderfully blessed day!

Sincerely,

*This Girl*

Friend, what do I see when I say that?

Well, when I close my eyes I see colors, colors representing happiness, through those vibrant colors I hear laughter, a laughter that makes me smile deep down inside. I see eyes that hide nothing with a smile of sincerity. A person being who they are with no regrets or fear of being judged. I see someone who feels comfortable in the environment they reside in. An aura of confidence with and air of relaxation about them. I see someone I would die for, I trust my life to them. I see someone who has walked from hell and back with me, who loves me on my best days and on my worst days. Someone I can relate to, a person who will grow with me and not hold me down. A person who, if we are different doesn’t try to change me. A person who will stand for me when I cannot even stand for myself, one who would meet me where I am with just a phone call. I see a relationship that each person gives each other there all, not a 50/50 relationship but a 100/100 relationship. A friendship where not only do we laugh together but cry together as well. A relationship of mutual respect and understanding.

Where do we get this kind of relationship you ask?

Well, here is the hardest part that we all have to understand and come to an agreement on… it takes both people giving themselves up for each other to see. No lies, no secrets, no talking behind each other’s backs, no bad communication. All of those are hard things to do, even if you both agree to do everything I have talked about, there is something you need to understand.

Most people do not make it because it takes time, effort, perseverance, work, and a lot of apologizing. A lot of forgiving. People talk about how great it would be to have a friend, but not very many people are willing to put in the time and effort to make it happen.

This is why my closest friends are my sisters and my immediate family. We are all still working on understanding each other and sympathizing with how we all feel towards different things.

All of us have our weird quirks. You cannot even be a possible friend for me if you cannot love me for the exact way that I am. No matter how crazy I get.

Yes, I have incredible caffeine rushes and I swear I am the funniest person alive after I have had coffee. Yes, I snort when I laugh so hard I cannot breath. Yes, the only thing I can do quietly is walk, and read; I cannot sneeze, hiccup, blow my nose or talk quietly, you can hear me do it all.

But I would step in harms way if it meant saving anyone that mattered to me. I will be there when you needed me the most, help you even when you do not ask. I would laugh with you at your funniest moments, and cry with you at your saddest moments. I will give you the confidence you need. I will help you do what you need to do but I will not do it for you. I will dare you to be your greatest and help you achieve your goals. I will do my best to be someone you can trust. I will be honest even if it hurts.

My mother once told me, “there are too many leaders, and not enough servants”.

She was so right. There should only be one leader. Jesus should be our only leader. We should follow him. If we followed him (even our friends) we would all naturally become one. Our friendships would be bonds stronger than brotherhood. At that point any relationship would have more merit and meaning, including relationships with the opposite sex.

If you think you do not have a friend remember this. Jesus is our closest and best friend. He is our bridegroom, protector and our salvation. So for those of you who feel lonely, maybe there is a reason. Maybe we should get to know our friend more by putting “work” and “time” into the relationship.

I hope this touched someone’s heart. May you all have a blessed night, Amen.

Sincerely,

This Girl