Know Thyself

Hello friends,

I want to apologize for not being here for you guys these past few weeks. I have been dealing with a lot, as I am sure you all have as well. I have been learning a lot of lessons over the past few weeks that I want to share with you guys.

Lesson 1: Be/Know yourself

This is a hard one to explain but I am going to try anyway.

The Bible talks about loving your neighbor as much as yourself; a person once told me that even though the bible says that, we have to keep in mind that we cannot love our neighbor, if we do not love ourselves as well. I am not talking about the narcissistic love that people seem to attempt to indulge in these days. I mean a kind of loving yourself so much that you get to the point were you’re comfortable with your “shortcomings” or “differences” as people like to call them. The way you might laugh too loud. The way you might be scared of spiders. The way you expect trust and faith in a friendship. The way you put your families needs over your own. The way you would work so hard to make everyone else happy that you forget about yourself. The way you dress. The way you act. The list goes on and on, the questions is… Do you even know yourself enough to love yourself.

So many people, especially young people are spending so much time hating on themselves or hating the things that make them “them”. Doesn’t it feel like your chasing your tail sometimes? In this mad circle for power or leverage over people, making it where the kind, innocent & loving people who might be insecure get walked all over. Notice that the ones who get walked all over are the people who are still trying to figure themselves out or they do not know how to stand up for themselves yet because they are to busy trying to make you happy.

I wish young people would spend the time to find out what they actually like and do not like. I wish they would spend time building their character instead of their instagram profile. How much time do we spend trying to be what we are not? Some of you may be thinking, but it is who I am. No, it is who you have made yourself to be. Put down the distractions, learn your values, what is important to you, what you want in your friends, where you might want to be in a few years. People have been spending so much time compromising who they are to be liked by people that everyone is just an internet profile walking around trying to get as many likes as possible. If you think about it, what we are really doing is just lying to everyone around us about who we are. I am not here for an argument, I am here to state facts, what I have learned, what I have gone through as a person. So many people stereotype and assume things that we actually are not only hurting those around us but we are hurting ourselves as well. It is just a vicious cycle that keeps on taking and never giving back.

For those who want to spend their early years on dating all the time, for those who change themselves to fit in the crowds or klicks of people who do not deserve to have you around, and anyone else who doesn’t spend time building themselves as a person and a character or who just doesn’t understand, I have some advice for you from some supposedly great people. I think their advice is pretty legit, so I am going to do my best to quote them.

My sister told me about this quote she found, I thought it was from Churchill but I couldn’t find it so I will sum up.

“If you look up at your circle of friends and are not inspired by them, then you need to get yourself new friends.”

There was of a father who gave his son his great grandfathers watch, he told the son that before he could keep it he needed to take it to an antique shop, a pawn shop, and an antique museum to see what they would all pay for the watch. The antique shop said they would pay $150 because it had a dent in it, the pawn shop said $10 because it was so old and the Museum offered over $5,000 saying they would love to have it in their collection of war antiques. When the son went back and told the father this the father said, stay with people who value you for what you’re worth like the museum that valued at $5,000 the watch even though it was old.

Know that you are worth it, your value is so much greater than you even give yourself credit for. God loves us so much that he has the hairs on our head numbered and he got to know us before our mothers even met us. How wonderful, to know that someone has loved me from the start. Even if you are alone in your opinion, you will never be alone or without love for the Father never leaves us. If you truly believe that your value is not that great, then do something to change that. Learn how much our Father loves us by reading his word, do things outside of your comfort zone in faith that God is with us when we are scared, learn to enjoy your own company, learn what is important to you. You cannot love anyone if you do not love yourself. You cannot love your family, your friends, your spouses, your children, no one; because you yourself do not know what it means to love. No one should love you more than you, aside from God (he knew you first) 😉 .

I hope this helps you guys, I can talk further about it but I do not want to bore you anymore. I pray that you are all safe and well during this interesting time. May the Father “God” have the glory for everything, Amen.


*This Girl*

P.S. I want to give credit to the artist for this wonderful art, her name is Jessi Ford. You can see more of her art on instagram, she does not post often but you can find her under the name rangerjessi!


Being thankful is something we can feel from the bottom of our hearts. It gives us a sense of joy that compels us to do small acts of kindness.

Being thankful this Thanksgiving is not about blessing the food you bought or took hours of your day to make. It is about being thankful for what we have and praising God for all of the small and big blessings he sees fit to give us.

I praise God for my family, the family that is with me today and the family that is not. I am thankful for all of the brothers and sisters in Christ God has given to me. I am thankful for all of my coworkers at all of my jobs. I am thankful for having a job, a house, a vehicle to get around in and a bed to sleep in. I am thankful for the animals and children God has put under my care. I am thankful for the money and the ability to cook the meal that my family will be sharing.

I pray that all day the Father hears prayers from all over the world praising him for his greatness and thanking him for what he has given and done for us.

I pray for all the people who do not get to celebrate today with there families. I pray for all of the EMS personnel, military, truckers, store/retail workers, slope workers etc. I pray for y’alls safe return home. May we be thankful for all we have, not wanting more but being content with what we do have, amen.


*This Girl*

My Side of the Story

I am sitting beside you, do you not feel my presence? I am praying with you, do you not hear my tears hit the floor as I weep beside you? I laugh with you, I speak to you, and yet you think I’m just your conscious. I strive to keep you safe, can you not hear Me telling you that you shouldn’t do the very thing you are laboring so hard to do. I am with you during your car rides, meetings, grocery lines, classes, family discussions, alone time, and even when you are sleeping. I look out for your past, present, and future… do you not see me in it? I created this beautiful place called earth for you.

I have something for you. I hold it in my hand with care, like holding on to a new born babe, it’s the plan that I have for you. With great joy I raced to show you at the beginning stages of your life, so that you can get started right away and miss nothing. But you turn Me away with mutterings that you do not need Me, you can accomplish every thing you ever wanted without me… on your own. So I wait, I wait as a farmer would wait for rain. Some of you come straight forth, claiming your calling and who you are in God. Some of you I have to replant, some need more water, others need more shelter from the storm because they are fragile and need protecting. Some need more soil, or ground covering friends to help them. Some bring forth shade, others fruit, and some beauty. Many will do none of theses things. They shall bring forth thorns and thistles. They shall be a hindrance to there fellows, they will tell them “you can be anything, who needs God!” “He is not there anyway.” “Where is your God now?” “You will never be perfect, why try?” “Who do you think you are?”. They shall try to choke their brethren with their vines, hurt them with their thorns, and steal all their nutrients. They hated Me before you though. Ripped from the earth shall they be, as well as cut down at the root. They will get their just reward, focus on Me.

The point of the matter, or the reason for the story, is do you even want Me? Do you seek Me? I never left you, even though you accuse Me of such a treachery. I am here with you now and always.

Hallelujah, Amen,


Friend, what do I see when I say that?

Well, when I close my eyes I see colors, colors representing happiness, through those vibrant colors I hear laughter, a laughter that makes me smile deep down inside. I see eyes that hide nothing with a smile of sincerity. A person being who they are with no regrets or fear of being judged. I see someone who feels comfortable in the environment they reside in. An aura of confidence with and air of relaxation about them. I see someone I would die for, I trust my life to them. I see someone who has walked from hell and back with me, who loves me on my best days and on my worst days. Someone I can relate to, a person who will grow with me and not hold me down. A person who, if we are different doesn’t try to change me. A person who will stand for me when I cannot even stand for myself, one who would meet me where I am with just a phone call. I see a relationship that each person gives each other there all, not a 50/50 relationship but a 100/100 relationship.  A friendship where not only do we laugh together but cry together as well. A relationship of mutual respect and understanding. 

Where do we get this kind of relationship you ask?

Well, here is the hardest part that we all have to understand and come to an agreement on… it takes both people giving themselves up for each other to see. No lies, no secrets, no talking behind each other’s backs, no bad communication. All of those are hard things to do, even if you both agree to do everything I have talked about, there is something you need to understand. 

Most people do not make it because it takes time, effort, perseverance, work, and a lot of apologizing. A lot of forgiving. People talk about how great it would be to have a friend, but not very many people are willing to put in the time and effort to make it happen. 

This is why my closest friends are my sisters and my immediate family. We are all still working on understanding each other and sympathizing with how we all feel towards different things. 

All of us have our weird quirks. You cannot even be a possible friend for me if you cannot love me for the exact way that I am. No matter how crazy I get.  

Yes, I have incredible caffeine rushes and I swear I am the funniest person alive after I have had coffee. Yes, I snort when I laugh so hard I cannot breath. Yes, the only thing I can do quietly is walk, and read; I cannot sneeze, hiccup, blow my nose or talk quietly, you can hear me do it all. 

But I would step in harms way if it meant saving anyone that mattered to me. I will be there when you needed me the most, help you even when you do not ask. I would laugh with you at your funniest moments, and cry with you at your saddest moments. I will give you the confidence you need. I will help you do what you need to do but I will not do it for you. I will dare you to be your greatest and help you achieve your goals. I will do my best to be someone you can trust. I will be honest even if it hurts. 

My mother once told me, “there are too many leaders, and not enough servants”. 

She was so right. There should only be one leader. Jesus should be our only leader. We should follow him. If we followed him (even our friends) we would all naturally become one. Our friendships would be bonds stronger than brotherhood. At that point any relationship would have more merit and meaning, including relationships with the opposite sex. 

If you think you do not have a friend remember this. Jesus is our closest and best friend. He is our bridegroom, protector and our salvation. So for those of you who feel lonely, maybe there is a reason. Maybe we should get to know our friend more by putting “work” and “time” into the relationship. 

I hope this touched someone’s heart. May you all have a blessed night, Amen. 


This Girl

A Moment

What is a moment? A series of seconds where space and time collide? Where matters of substance gain weight in meaning? When the objects that matter to us stand out?

What defines a moment? How do we recognize it? Well let me tell you. 

Close your eyes. Now, think of a time in life. Just a short moment that meant the world to you. 

Was it that 15 min conversation with a friend before they had to head to work? Was it a holiday spent with a family member? The last moments before a loved one died? 

How exceptionally short the life we live is. And yet, we put so much importance in it. 

What would happen if we put importance over the things that truly mattered? Do we even know what is important? 

I shake my head in sadness at my generation. Due to the creation and excitement of current devices. Certain things have been taken for granted. 

Like waiting for a friends telephone call by watching the home phone. Waiting for it to ring for what felt like hours. 

Going on dates without something consistently ringing in your pocket. 

Going on a drive enjoying the scenery instead of passing your last record on a matching game.  

What happened to simply living. We cannot even work a simple job without having a device to either work the job or avoid a coworker. What happened to hr long phone calls instead of two hr long texting. 

We are missing out on so many things. People my age and younger have a hard time carrying on a decent conversation most of the time. 

I wish that for the growing years of our children we would divert them away from anything electronic the way my parents did. I hardly ever saw my parents watch tv. My dad only played video games for us to watch while we ate or to play Nintendo games like Monkey Ball and Mario with us. He also made sure that what he did play around us was age appropriate.

We read more books than I ever watched tv. We played pretend more than I ever played video games. I was not allowed to have a personal phone until I truly needed one like (getting a job).

When we were bored we learned things like crochet, sewing, painting. We learned responsibility through caring for animals like ducks, dogs and rabbits. We learned work ethics by volunteering at the library, mission, and shelter. We learned money management and how to save money the moment I started collecting chore payment. I did not get a weekly allowance, I worked for my money. I would clean the house, feed the animals, take the trash out, and work in the garden.

My generation is lacking in most if not all of these skills and more. I pray for them. Some of them have had a ruff life and I have admiration for there tenacity. Others think they are incredibly entitled and that they do not have to work for anything.

We deserve nothing but hell for what we have done. How dare we expect more. God is incredibly gracious for not taking us all right off of the face of the earth. Look at how we treat each other. Better yet look how we treat ourselves. We do not even respect ourselves sometimes. We can see this with how we talk, dress, act, and respond to others.

The bible talks about a fruit bearing tree, and that the one that does not bear fruit will be hewn down. We must be alert at how we represent our Father. As His children we must stand and be examples for our brethren and rebuke them in love.

Pray for the people around you and never assume that you know what is going on in their life. What happens to them will never be an excuse as to how they act. It might be an explanation though.

The Lord be with you all and may you all have a blessed night.


This Girl

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